Wise Up

We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us.

"Wise Up" by Aimee Mann from Music from the motion picture Magnolia 



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTI8ZiopycQ

That is the theme from the movie Magnolia, that we may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us. If you have not seen this movie you need to. It is one of my favorite movies. The soundtrack includes nine songs from singer/songwriter Aimee Mann. One of them, "Save Me" was nominated for the Acadamy Award for Best Original Song, only to lose to the Phil Collins song "You'll Be In My Heart" from Tarzan. (Also nominated that year was "Blame Canada" from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.)

Director Paul Thomas Anderson is known to have been listening to Aimee Mann's music a lot during the writng of the script for Magnolia and even borrowing character ideas and lyrics as lines of dialouge.He also made it a point to integrate the music with the movie. The video posted above is not the music video for the song, well I guess it is, but it also takes place in the movie. Magnolia is pretty overtly split up into three acts, with this song as the closer to the second act. As you can tell, the characters of the ensemble cast are out of sorts just before the third act happens and all hell breaks loose.

The lyrics start out "It's not what you thought when you first began it." The easy interperetation is that "it" is life, but I think the smarter interperetation is 'situation as life.' By this I mean that none of us have any real expectations for life until we have something to lose, or gain. By playing the pronoun game Mann draws us into the song because we automatically transfer our situation onto the the character of the song. This is a case where when the singer says "you" she truly means the listener.

"You got what you want, but you can hardly stand it." Ain't that the rub. Things, outside influences, accomplishments, wants, needs, none of it makes one happier.  "But now you know it's not going to stop. No it's not going to stop until you wise up." A friend of mine is fond of saying that the definition of insanity is doing something the same way multiple times and expecting different results. We run the same behavior patterns over and over again and expect ing us deeper and to be happy, but "it" keeps piling ontop of us, buriying us deeper and deeper, but it's not going to stop.

"You're sure there's a cure," The real solution is always the hardest path. We search so hard to find any way we can to fix the problem, mask the problem, ignore the problem. The problemis ourselves. "You think one drink will sshrink you'till you're underground and living down." Shrink ourselves until we are hidden. Hide the problem, "but it's not gong to stop till you wise up."

After two Verse/Chorus combinations we come to a short bridge that transistions seemlessly into the final chorus. The bridge is an acknowledgement that the path ahead is rough. "Prepare a list of what you need before you sign away the deed, 'cause it's not going to stop 'til you wise up."

Finally we are left with the most important line of the song. Often I write of songs that leave the protaganist lost and wandering, with no solution and their problems ever worsening. This song however gives you the answer. "It's not going to stop, so just give up." It's as simple as that. It's not going to stop, so maybe you should. Just give up. It's pointless. Why play the game if you can't win. Give up. Leave the show. Why not, it's not like it's going to stop.

As always I encourage comments, criticisms, and suggestions either here, or at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net

Guess I'll Forget You

In 1997 The Black Heart Procession was forged in the San Diego music scene. This was the same collection of musicians that produced bands such as Pinback and Three Mile Pilot. The band put out their sixth full length album, aptly titled Six in late 2009. Today we look at "Guess I'll Forget You" from their 2000 release Three

"Guess I'll Forget You" by The Black Heart Procession from Three



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfGxHgysvfg

I first heard The Black Heart Procession two years ago on Christmas Eve. Some friends were over unwinding from the hectic day with their families. I had Pandora Radio running some random channel in the background and eventually it was time to switch stations. A good friend of mine took matters into his own hands and put on The Black Heart Procession. From that moment on I was hooked. The band immediately became one of my favorites.

I have wanted to do a Black Heart Procession song for as long as I have written this blog. I think their music as a whole speaks very well to the subject material of Suicide Watch Songs, and that is why it has been so hard to pick. I've spent a long time listening to the majority of their catalog, analyzing lyrics, hemming, and hawing about which song to pick. "Guess I'll Forget You" stood out as an early front-runner, and throughout the selection process it became the measuring stick to which I was holding up other songs. I knew it was worthy, but I couldn't figure out why it made a good Suicide Watch Song. Then it hit me, very similarly to the way Sparklehorse's "It's A Wonderful Life" hit me.

When I pick a song for SWS, I attempt to look for songs that are based on the individual. I don't like to go for songs where the depression is based on an event, or due to another person. I especially try to avoid songs of heartbreak. While certainly heartbreak can and does often throw one into depression, the depth of depression that I like to explore is inherent on a personal level. It is the metaphorical powder keg that needs an event to catalyst it's explosion. In other words, I want to explore the tragic, flawed psyche, not the damaged, working through it psyche. We could also refer to this as the 'No "I Want To Know What Love Is" Rule.'

Then why "Guess I'll Forget You?" It is quite obviously about split relations. Am I not breaking my own rule? No, listen to the protagonist. He's so meek and withdrawn. There is no fight left. He doesn't believe he can get his relationship back because he doesn't believe that he is lovable. The split was inevitable. He doesn't cry out. He doesn't fight back. There is no 'come back,' no 'I can change,' just 'I'm going to step aside now. I'll try and forget you.'

The first lyric is "Now you know there's no light on the way," Our character feels as though the truth has been found out about him. His darker insides have been revealed. He's saying 'Now you can see the real me, and that there is nothing to the real me. I am hollow. I am shallow. I will hurt you, and this is for the best.' The next verse begins with a similar lyric, but deepens the metaphor, "Now they say there's no light in the caves. We all know that there's no way out." The depths are too big. Even if you wanted me to climb out. Even if you were to offer your help, there is no way out of this. I am too far gone. I will drag you down with me.

Lyrically the bridge consists of one short line "but before I go I must say that in my heart you'll always be found, always." Our protagonist will forever be burdened with this memories. He will never forget no matter how much he tries.

The Black Heart Procession are masters at building incredible soundscapes. Their music tends to move at a slow dirge, and it is drenched in just the right amount of reverb and echo to make you feel like you're nowhere. Am I in a cave? No, am I in a cathedral? No, I'm just kind of nowhere, being enveloped by this sound. Their tone production makes me feel like I'm watching TV with Vaseline on the screen. When something onscreen is prominent it comes to the front of the shot. One can make out what the image is supposed to be, yet the edges are still fuzzy. The background remains vague, but present. "Guess I'll Forget You" is a perfect example of this. Listen to the way the guitar and organ interplay with the melody. The fading echos of the backbeat trail off, getting quieter and eventually fade like a memory into nothing. The soundscape is vast, but so sparse. It's big sky country; it's impressive because its so full of nothing, well, things so big they seem like nothing.

The saddest part is that the protagonist is causing this. There is never a mention of I'm sorry. There's never a movement towards reconciliation. It's self sabotage. There is no reason that things have to end, but our character decides that leaving, and forgetting, something he admits he'll never be able to do, is the best solution.

As always feel free to comment here, or email me at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net