Looking At The World From The Bottom Of A Well

Here it is, the end of the calender year. Suicide Watch Songs is a short two months of being a year old. As I write this, my area is experiencing it's first significant snowfall of the season, something I could never trade for a million sunny southern days. It's a magical time for me, a happy time. It's one of many facets of life that work backwards for me. I like the cold and snow more than warmth and sun. I also like depressing songs more than uplifting ones. Happy music without tension or accomplishment drains me and depresses me like no other. Sad songs, on the other hand, fill me up like fuel. They keep me going like nothing else can.

Mike Doughty is someone who's music I have wanted to write about for quite a while. He was the founder and destroyer of Soul Coughing, an amazing vision into what hip-hop could have been, a more direct descendant of beat poetry. Not that hip-hop should be anything other than what it is, but, well check it out, you'll see what I mean. After beating his addiction to heroin, Doughty continued to tour as a solo act. I had the chance to see him many years back and he ranks in my head as the most entertaining solo performer I have ever seen. For instance, during the entire show there are a group of hardcore fans (I was new to Doughty's work at this time) yelling for a song called "FIRE TRUCK!" The whole night Doughty keeps putting it off telling us that we weren't ready for it yet. Then I get this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byi2gkoEKwU , or something close to it. You can tell from this short clip how well he understands entertainment, how he is able to create tension in a few mere seconds as you're waiting for the payoff.

At the end of the show Doughty said "In five minutes I'm going to sit down right here at the edge of the stage and sell copies of my album for five dollars. I hope you come up and buy one because all of the proceeds are going directly into my gas tank." The album Skittish had no distributor, and this was pre-iTunes, so the only way to get the album legally was to buy it directly from him. When I bought mine I told him "I'm glad I finally get to buy a copy of this." "What'd you download it?" "A friend burned it for me." He signed the paper case that holds a CD-R very similar to the one I already had and hands it to me, "Eh, get out of here."

So why wait so long to tackle a Doughty song? Well, I cover hopeless, desperate music, and while Doughty's music may be desperate, it is full of hope. I mean boiling over with hope. All his characters are reaching up, and reaching out, and moving forward. They are not stagnant in their own drive. So today we are going to do something different, we are going to take a look at the lead off track from Mike Doughty's third album Haughty Melodic

"Looking At The World From The Bottom Of A Well", by Mike Doughty, from Haughty Melodic



This is Haughty Melodic's lead off track, and the first thing you notice if you're a long time Doughty listener is the change in production. Doughty's work previous to this album was very thin in texture, usually not more than an acoustic guitar and vocals. Here we have multiple guitar tracks, full drum kit, bass, keys, percussion, and sax. It's quite a leap from what we're accustomed.

Our first verse is a longing daydream. "That Cuban girl that brought me low, she had that skin so fine and red lips rose like now. Her mouth was wide and sweet as well, but now relentless hours a'dreaming of her smell." Yeah. There is no better way to phrase that. It is followed by the title of the song in chorus form. "I feel as if I am looking at the world from the bottom of a well." I am separate. I am not part of the world, only moving through it, and I am distanced from that world. I am trapped and subject to stay that way without help, and thus even if I wanted to climb out, I can't.

And yet, a ray of hope. "Lonely, and the only way to beat it is to bat it down," repeated many times. You have to keep going, because, well, simple and poignant, the only way to beat it is to bat it down.

"Oh all the days that I have run I sought to lose that cloud that's blacking out the sun. My train will come some one day soon and when it comes I'll ride it bound from night to noon." I love the imagery of that line. Often people use the allegory of a train. While they are nearly nonexistent to the average American today, the symbolism of the train is something that is pervasive in American culture. So much so that it's usage can mean many things. A train is big, and powerful, and constantly moving. Trains take you away from places you need to leave. You have to wait for a train and thus it is something to build anticipation. Don't forget also that one cannot stand still on a moving train, and do your best to avoid train wrecks.  Yet the beauty of that line is not the train, but it's destination. Doughty is riding a train that is departing night to arrive at noon. They are not times, but places. The train Doughty is waiting for picks one up in darkness and drops them off at light.

After another chorus we fall into a bridge, and a slight return to reality. "Aimless days, uncool ways of decathecting." To withdraw one's feelings of attachment from a person, idea, or object. "Painless phase, blacked out thoughts you'll be rejecting." From which we breakdown once again to "Lonely, and the only way to beat it is to bat it down." Keep going.

"Well let's get down, to business now ..."

and then the full on, full texture, everyone blasting last chorus, guitar solo, and dissolve.

And there you have it, a mention of hope. So, on to something more serious.

Did you know that it is false that there are more suicides in the cold weather months and around holidays? Studies show that suicide rates are highest in the springtime. I am certainly no expert, but no matter how detached we feel, we tend to spend more time with our loved ones during this season. We tend to lean on each other to get through it. Even those with very few in our lives lean heavy on our friends and acquaintances. I mentioned that sad music is the stuff that keeps me going, which is absolutely true. In writing about what I do, I do not mean to make light of a such a serious subject. As I mentioned, this kind of music keeps me moving forward in my life and has helped greatly in pulling me out of my darkest depths. I write not only because I enjoy it, but also because I hope there are some that share this viewpoint. Those of you that have had someone close to you commit suicide, a group of which I am a member, know that there are no words to describe how hard and perplexing of a situation one is left in. If you have any doubt about anyone, reach out. Maybe it doesn't matter much, but let those around you know that someone cares, that someone will listen, that they are not alone. I'm not saying, nor do I believe that we can fix each others problems, but I know that harm can come from letting people know you care.

And hey, if you're looking for a charity to give to this holiday season, look up Hopeline/1-800-Suicide, or buy a Post-Secret book! If you are unaware of Post-Secret, you definitely need to check them out. It is an ongoing non-profit community art project wherein people mail in secrets anonymously on a postcard and any money they generate goes to helping out Hopeline.

As always suggest, comment, and berate either on this page, on this page, or email suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net

Charlie Darwin

Oh My God, Life is cold and formless. Oh My God, it's all around.

The Low Anthem was formed in 2006 by Ben Knox Miller and Jeffery Prystowsky met as DJ's at Brown University's WBRU radio station in 2006. After the recording, well kind of during the recording of their first album they added clarinetist Jocie Adams. The band put out their first two albums, What the Crow Brings, and Oh My God, Charlie Darwin on their own. Recently the band signed to Nonesuch records, who have rerelased OMGCD and are going to put out The Low Anthem's next album Smart Flesh in February of 2011. Today we're going to look at the lead off track from The Low Anthem's second album, "Charlie Darwin"

"Charlie Darwin" by The Low Anthem from Oh My God, Charlie Darwin



My good friends will tell you that when I see a movie I really like for the first time, that I make huge extreme statements like "That's the best movie I've ever seen." Keeping that in mind, I truly think that this is the best music video I have ever seen. Besides the fact that I am a sucker for claymation, I can't think of a video that more adequately says exactly what the song is about. Don't believe me? Watch it with the sound off.

"Set the sails, I feel the winds a'stirring. Toward the bright horizon set the way. Cast your wreckless dreams upon our Mayflower, haven from the world and her decay."
I am young and idealistic. The world is at my command, and though there is so much wrong, and so much falling apart, I can leave that. I have the power to set my sails, take my own Mayflower towards that brighter horizon. I choose to rise out of the rubble and set sail for friendlier waters.

The vocals are so beautiful in this song. They sit so soundly in their sonic space. I feel like I'm in a cathedral, but I'm listening to folk music, not church music. The blend between the organ and the background vocals is so smooth that I don't know where one starts and the other ends.

"And who could heed the words of Charlie Darwin, fighting for a system built to fail, spooning water from their broken vessels. As far as I can see there is no land." Only a fool would fight for something foolish. Why would a man stand for such crazy ideas.

"Oh my God, the water's all around us. Oh my God, it's all around." It's a realization. There has been a fundamental change in the protagonists world view. His world has flooded and the world he remembered has been buried by water. His landscape is completely different now, and he has to rationalize the person he is within this new world.

"And who could heed the words of Charlie Darwin. The lords of war just profit from decay, and trade their children's promise for the jingle the way we trade our hard earned time for pay." What a lyric. 'The lords of war just profit from decay' Men are driven to destroy for their own gain. 'And trade their children's promise,' their children's world. The place that we are supposed to leave better for others. That which we have promised our children. "The way we trade our hard earned time for pay.' Hard earned time, not hard earned pay. One works for time, for freedom, not monetary gain, but we all need monetary gain to support time. Life is hard, and as much as one would like to, we often cannot live within our ideals.

"Oh my God, the water's cold and shapeless. Oh my God, it's all around." The world has changed. I am not living in the same place. Am I even the same person? How can I claim to be? "Oh my God, Life is cold and formless. Oh my God, it's all around." What a dichotomy. Life is cold and formless, but we're surrounded by it. Something that had meaning, now has no meaning. Wait, that can't be right. It has meaning, but a different meaning. What is that meaning and is it important? Do I have meaning anymore? Am I important?

Like Sparklehorse's "It's A Wonderful Life," I knew from the second I heard this song that I wanted to do an analysis of it, but I couldn't pinpoint why it fit. One could listen to this song and only grab the idealogical battle between evolutionists and creationists, but the roots of this song go much deeper. It is about a man that has his world turned upside down. He no longer understands the world around him, or his place in it. A persons' self image is justified by the world around them, and thus, as the world around him changes, he himself changes. If a man's world changes so much that he no longer recognizes it, then he no longer recognizes himself either.

Thanks once again for reading. Feel free to leave comments here, at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net, or at the new 'Dictatorship of the Proletariat' Forum at CommunistDayCareCenter.net. We've had some issues due to the jerks of the interwebs, so now you have to register to post, but we'd love to have you as part of the CDCC family.