It's A Wonderful Life

"It's A Wonderful Life" was the first Sparklehorse song I fell in love with. It was also the first Sparklehorse song I had ever heard.

On March 6th, 2010, Mark Linkous, who was Sparklehorse in concept and performance, ended his own life.


"It's A Wonderful Life" by Sparklehorse from It's A Wonderful Life.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjsUZRs770U

Sparklehorse's music is beautiful and fragile. His songs are composed of a string of precious moments; seeing an unexpected shooting star, running though a field of high grass, and the silence of the snowfall. It is all very beautiful and cherishes everything in the world that we take for granted. It is the quiet observation of the magic that sneaks out from in between every molecule, like a shadow blanket from the fourth dimension. It is an incredibly uplifting view of the world, and that's why I could not figure out for the life of me why it made me feel so sad.

When I heard that Linkous had committed suicide I was finally able to understand why his music makes me feel the way it does. It is a feeling that I've dealt with many times in my life; Everything here is so pretty and so perfect and yet I just don't belong. I am a faker. I've I cheated my way in and am pretending, wearing a thin veil, a human mask. I'm not fooling anyone and it's only a matter of time before I'm run out on a rail. Even at my best I am a failure to everyone else's normal. As Linkous himself says, "I'm the dog that ate your birthday cake." You can't blame the dog for doing what was in its nature, yet they are what caused you pain.

"It's A Wonderful Life," like most of Linkous' music has an expertly designed low-fi sound. One can tell by listening to it that the sound you're hearing is the one Linkous wanted, and not the one he got because he was limited in the studio. The song's instrumentation is only mellotron, guitar, vocals, bell kit, cello, record hiss, and 80's computer calculation sounds, which might sound like a lot, but keep in mind that the harmonic material is really just coming from the guitar, and mellotron, and that the melodic material is basically all coming from his voice. All of the other parts, including the cello, are really just reinforcing the song and adding to the overall soundscape.

"It's A Wonderful Life" is not only a great song, but a great album as well. If you get even a little pleasure out of listening to it then I suggest getting your hands on a copy of the entire album. You will not be disappointed.

The reason I am enthralled with depressing songs is because they keep me going. Nothing helps me through day to day life, let alone the hard days, better than really dark music. Suicide Watch Songs are just that for me, they're my suicide watch. They pull me back from the edge. I don't know the real reason. I don't view it in a "There's someone that feels the way I do" kind of way. Maybe it makes me feel like I am dead, or what I want death to feel like. Maybe suicide watch songs fill that void, give me that fix. Unfortunately it is way too easy to forget that the creators of this music are often in deep personal turmoil.

Suicide is a not a choice come to easily. While I don't ever want to see it happen, I have to respect it. It is hardest decision to make as a person. Mark Linkous, I hope what you have done has ended your pain, and I thank you for keeping my demons at bay if for only a little while. Rest in peace.

As always feel free to comment here or send me an email at SuicideSongs@CommunistDayCareCenter.Net