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"It's A Wonderful Life" was the first Sparklehorse song I fell in love with. It was also the first Sparklehorse song I had ever heard.
On March 6th, 2010, Mark Linkous, who was Sparklehorse in concept and performance, ended his own life.
"It's A Wonderful Life" by Sparklehorse from It's A Wonderful Life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjsUZRs770U
Sparklehorse's music is beautiful and fragile. His songs are composed of a string of precious moments; seeing an unexpected shooting star, running though a field of high grass, and the silence of the snowfall. It is all very beautiful and cherishes everything in the world that we take for granted. It is the quiet observation of the magic that sneaks out from in between every molecule, like a shadow blanket from the fourth dimension. It is an incredibly uplifting view of the world, and that's why I could not figure out for the life of me why it made me feel so sad.
When I heard that Linkous had committed suicide I was finally able to understand why his music makes me feel the way it does. It is a feeling that I've dealt with many times in my life; Everything here is so pretty and so perfect and yet I just don't belong. I am a faker. I've I cheated my way in and am pretending, wearing a thin veil, a human mask. I'm not fooling anyone and it's only a matter of time before I'm run out on a rail. Even at my best I am a failure to everyone else's normal. As Linkous himself says, "I'm the dog that ate your birthday cake." You can't blame the dog for doing what was in its nature, yet they are what caused you pain.
"It's A Wonderful Life," like most of Linkous' music has an expertly designed low-fi sound. One can tell by listening to it that the sound you're hearing is the one Linkous wanted, and not the one he got because he was limited in the studio. The song's instrumentation is only mellotron, guitar, vocals, bell kit, cello, record hiss, and 80's computer calculation sounds, which might sound like a lot, but keep in mind that the harmonic material is really just coming from the guitar, and mellotron, and that the melodic material is basically all coming from his voice. All of the other parts, including the cello, are really just reinforcing the song and adding to the overall soundscape.
"It's A Wonderful Life" is not only a great song, but a great album as well. If you get even a little pleasure out of listening to it then I suggest getting your hands on a copy of the entire album. You will not be disappointed.
The reason I am enthralled with depressing songs is because they keep me going. Nothing helps me through day to day life, let alone the hard days, better than really dark music. Suicide Watch Songs are just that for me, they're my suicide watch. They pull me back from the edge. I don't know the real reason. I don't view it in a "There's someone that feels the way I do" kind of way. Maybe it makes me feel like I am dead, or what I want death to feel like. Maybe suicide watch songs fill that void, give me that fix. Unfortunately it is way too easy to forget that the creators of this music are often in deep personal turmoil.
Suicide is a not a choice come to easily. While I don't ever want to see it happen, I have to respect it. It is hardest decision to make as a person. Mark Linkous, I hope what you have done has ended your pain, and I thank you for keeping my demons at bay if for only a little while. Rest in peace.
As always feel free to comment here or send me an email at SuicideSongs@CommunistDayCareCenter.Net
Monday, March 15, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Satan Is My Motor
FUCK IT!
That's right, I said FUCK IT!
I'm DONE, I'm Out!
and FUCK Y'All. I don't need you. You don't know me.
I don't need you. I'm fine on my own, 'casue Satan is my motor. Hear my motor purr.
"Satan Is My Motor" by CAKE from Prolonging The Magic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksd_PKe-ex0
As I mentioned last time, this review has to do with the 'Devil May Care' genre of Suicide Song. It is obviously a departure from the previous songs but with good reason. I have designed the first four blog posts to mimic my own listening habits during depressive cycles. The first two are sometimes flipped, and this one and the next are sometimes flipped as well, but overall this is the progression. It starts with the fall into 'The Pit,' those depths that are hard to climb out from. When in those depths every small situation feels as though it is out of my control. A feeling of helplessness overcomes, a sense that every outcome is predetermined, and that I have no control over my own life. At that point I need to find some power in my life. I have to get some control of something. Then begins a stage fueled by an emotion so eloquently described this way by Mary Shelley; "If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear!"
"Satan Is My Motor" starts right off into the first verse with a verse of metaphor describing the protagonist of the song. "I've got wheels of solid steel. I've got tires that grab the road. I've got seats that selflessly hold my friend and a trunk that can carry the heaviest of loads." This verse describes how the character views himself in the world. He is the stalwart companion. He is virtuous, capable, and willing to help anyone at anytime. He views himself above all else the paradigm of the 'good guy.'
The pre-chorus then gives us an insight into the internal workings of the character's psyche. "I've got a mind that can steer me to your house, and a heart that can bring you red flowers." He has these parts of him that CAN do something, but Will he? Why does he? Why should he? "My intentions are good and earnest and true, but under my hood is internal combustion power, ..." I am a driven person. I have reasoning, and a thought process. I am cold and calculated.
"... and Satan is my motor. Hear my motor purr."
I have seen many interpretations on this song. The most common one is that Satan in this case is the character's sex drive. In essence saying "I like you, and I do these things for you because I care for you, but my ultimate goal is to get in your pants." I believe that it goes deeper than that. Satan in this case is any selfish drive within him. His sex drive is only one aspect of this, not all of it. This is not 'selfish' in the way we tend to think of a 'selfish' being. We tend to associate selfishness with not only thinking of one's self, but also as though the guilty party was purposefully attempting to hurt others with their actions. That kind of accusation in itself is a selfish act by my definition. "You didn't even stop to think about ME did you?" is a statement made by one inherently looking out for their self. They're not really thinking about the benefit gained by the 'selfish' person.
"Satan is my motor. Hear my motor purr," is a vie for power, a scream from that hopeless person that they have power in this world. I AM in control of my life. I am driven, and if I so choose, none of you can stop me in my pursuits.
I believe that those we consider to be evil or bad people don't believe themselves to be. I don't believe that people do things just to be bad. No one wakes up in the morning and says "I'm going to be a bad person today." Behind every evil act is a good intention or hard decision. Everyone knows the difference between right and wrong, but as was once said by someone wiser than me "Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do." How does one reconcile with themselves in such a situation? The next line of the song says it all; "Satan is the only one who seems to understand."
The lyrics go on to describe the character's control of the situation. "I've got brakes. I'm wide awake. I can stop this car at anytime. At the very last second I can change direction, turn completely around, if I feel so inclined." The question that remains is to whom is the character talking. Is "I can stop this car at anytime" a father yelling at the kids in the backseat, iterating control of the situation, or is he the lifelong smoker that says "I can quit anytime I want to," the person that has made that hard decision and can't go back, someone afraid that they are out of control? We are left with the character arduously climbing the crumbling side of the pit with all their energy directed inwards because to do anything else guarantees that fall back into self destruction.
Musically, this does not feel like a 'Suicide Watch' song. I suppose that means it doesn't have the timbre, or chord progression, or it doesn't move at a tempo that could put one near weeping even if there were no words. In fact it does quite the opposite. This song, and most of CAKE's music would fit in quite easily on the dance floor. They are particularly hard to describe musically. They have a unique sound that a friend of mine aptly coined 'Cosmopolitan Pop.' They are certainly one of those bands that is more than the sum of their parts, and I would highly recommend them to any music listener.
Thanks again for reading and as always I look forward to comments and suggestions. You can either leave a comment on this page or email me at SuicideSongs@CommunistDayCareCenter.Net. Next week we introduce the last Suicide Watch Song genre (for now), the self-loathing song.
That's right, I said FUCK IT!
I'm DONE, I'm Out!
and FUCK Y'All. I don't need you. You don't know me.
I don't need you. I'm fine on my own, 'casue Satan is my motor. Hear my motor purr.
"Satan Is My Motor" by CAKE from Prolonging The Magic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksd_PKe-ex0
As I mentioned last time, this review has to do with the 'Devil May Care' genre of Suicide Song. It is obviously a departure from the previous songs but with good reason. I have designed the first four blog posts to mimic my own listening habits during depressive cycles. The first two are sometimes flipped, and this one and the next are sometimes flipped as well, but overall this is the progression. It starts with the fall into 'The Pit,' those depths that are hard to climb out from. When in those depths every small situation feels as though it is out of my control. A feeling of helplessness overcomes, a sense that every outcome is predetermined, and that I have no control over my own life. At that point I need to find some power in my life. I have to get some control of something. Then begins a stage fueled by an emotion so eloquently described this way by Mary Shelley; "If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear!"
"Satan Is My Motor" starts right off into the first verse with a verse of metaphor describing the protagonist of the song. "I've got wheels of solid steel. I've got tires that grab the road. I've got seats that selflessly hold my friend and a trunk that can carry the heaviest of loads." This verse describes how the character views himself in the world. He is the stalwart companion. He is virtuous, capable, and willing to help anyone at anytime. He views himself above all else the paradigm of the 'good guy.'
The pre-chorus then gives us an insight into the internal workings of the character's psyche. "I've got a mind that can steer me to your house, and a heart that can bring you red flowers." He has these parts of him that CAN do something, but Will he? Why does he? Why should he? "My intentions are good and earnest and true, but under my hood is internal combustion power, ..." I am a driven person. I have reasoning, and a thought process. I am cold and calculated.
"... and Satan is my motor. Hear my motor purr."
I have seen many interpretations on this song. The most common one is that Satan in this case is the character's sex drive. In essence saying "I like you, and I do these things for you because I care for you, but my ultimate goal is to get in your pants." I believe that it goes deeper than that. Satan in this case is any selfish drive within him. His sex drive is only one aspect of this, not all of it. This is not 'selfish' in the way we tend to think of a 'selfish' being. We tend to associate selfishness with not only thinking of one's self, but also as though the guilty party was purposefully attempting to hurt others with their actions. That kind of accusation in itself is a selfish act by my definition. "You didn't even stop to think about ME did you?" is a statement made by one inherently looking out for their self. They're not really thinking about the benefit gained by the 'selfish' person.
"Satan is my motor. Hear my motor purr," is a vie for power, a scream from that hopeless person that they have power in this world. I AM in control of my life. I am driven, and if I so choose, none of you can stop me in my pursuits.
I believe that those we consider to be evil or bad people don't believe themselves to be. I don't believe that people do things just to be bad. No one wakes up in the morning and says "I'm going to be a bad person today." Behind every evil act is a good intention or hard decision. Everyone knows the difference between right and wrong, but as was once said by someone wiser than me "Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do." How does one reconcile with themselves in such a situation? The next line of the song says it all; "Satan is the only one who seems to understand."
The lyrics go on to describe the character's control of the situation. "I've got brakes. I'm wide awake. I can stop this car at anytime. At the very last second I can change direction, turn completely around, if I feel so inclined." The question that remains is to whom is the character talking. Is "I can stop this car at anytime" a father yelling at the kids in the backseat, iterating control of the situation, or is he the lifelong smoker that says "I can quit anytime I want to," the person that has made that hard decision and can't go back, someone afraid that they are out of control? We are left with the character arduously climbing the crumbling side of the pit with all their energy directed inwards because to do anything else guarantees that fall back into self destruction.
Musically, this does not feel like a 'Suicide Watch' song. I suppose that means it doesn't have the timbre, or chord progression, or it doesn't move at a tempo that could put one near weeping even if there were no words. In fact it does quite the opposite. This song, and most of CAKE's music would fit in quite easily on the dance floor. They are particularly hard to describe musically. They have a unique sound that a friend of mine aptly coined 'Cosmopolitan Pop.' They are certainly one of those bands that is more than the sum of their parts, and I would highly recommend them to any music listener.
Thanks again for reading and as always I look forward to comments and suggestions. You can either leave a comment on this page or email me at SuicideSongs@CommunistDayCareCenter.Net. Next week we introduce the last Suicide Watch Song genre (for now), the self-loathing song.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Rollin Home Alone
Welcome back to the second edition of the Suicide Watch Songs Blog. It is dedicated to songs that one listens to when at their lowest. There are many subgenres within this large group, and with these first few posts I hope to show examples of as many of these as possible. "Sea Anemone," the subject of the first blog post, falls into a genre I like to call 'The Pit,' which is reserved for the deepest, darkest, nothing left in the tank kind of songs. Today's selection falls into the 'apathetic' genre. These songs exude a hopelessness like no other. Nothing the protagonist does can change their situation. Here you are, lost and the loser once again. This weeks selection is Jason Lytle's "Rollin' Home Alone."
"Rollin' Home Alone" by Jason Lytle, from Your's Truly, The Commuter
Note: This song is not 8:51 long, only 4:15. The video has 4:35 of silence at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWUTMF_ArUs
Grandaddy is one of my favorite bands. Unfortunately I only started to get into them after they already come through Detroit for the last time. Sure, I was lucky enough that an EP and LP were still to be released, but I never got a chance to see the band live. It is my understanding that Lytle broke up the band because the band was getting bigger, there were more expectations and obligations, and it wore on his creative spirit and became an unhealthy environment for him. Afterwards, Lytle moved to Montana. While I was certain he would continue to make music, I was deathly afraid that one of my favorite musicians would never release anything to the public again. I was absolutely thrilled when I found out he was releasing a solo album only a few years later. I waited until his Detroit date opening up for Nico Case to purchase Lytle's solo debut, Yours Truly, The Commuter. I figured this would be a good way to check out the new material as well as hoping that he would get some more money than usual by buying direct.
There were two songs that made me tear up at that concert, one of which was "Rollin' Home Alone." It is one of those songs with few lyrics that repeat with small changes to augment the story. Again, while interpreting every lyric is not the aim of this blog, there are so few that my options are to dissect the entire thing or not at all. That being said, lets dig in.
"Rollin' home alone, here we go again, as if it's not alright, as if I need a friend." The second time through last couplet changes to "As if I even care, I might as well pretend." The tone of the verses come off in a slight sarcasm that truly sets up the hopeless feel of the song. One really gets the idea that this has happened many times before and the character is self aware enough to know he is headed down the same path as always and once again without recourse.
The chorus is what really gets me. "But I bought you something nice, yeah I got you something warm, for when the weather turns, when will I ever learn." "For when," becomes "And then," in the second chorus. The character tried his hardest. I got you a gift, not only a nice gift, but a thoughtful gift. It is getting cold out, and I bought you something warm. When will I ever learn...
Unrequited love is so hard because one has the hardest time realizing that it really has nothing to do with them. There is no way to make someone love you.
Musically there are many great things about this track. First off, a colleague of mine put it best when he said that Jason Lytle sings in such a way that any song could be reviewed for Suicide Watch. Lytle's voice is so beautiful, high and so fragile that it feels like turning the volume up too high might break it. The song certainly has the texture of a Jason Lytle song. It is driven by a rhythm section of acoustic guitar, bass, and drums, with synth and mellotron intertwining. My favorite part of the entire song is after the first chorus a guitar feedback loop builds out of the last chord and continues through the interlude, which chordally consists of a verse and chorus. This loop clashes with the verse chords and then resolves perfectly with the chorus chords. The tension and release of this is just amazing.
Now we come to the the concept that I think is the most interesting and most important about this blog. Lytle's record label, Anti, has a video up on their Youtube page in which Lytle speaks about the meanings of the songs on the record. He states that "Rollin' Home Alone" is about "... just feelin free. I don't know, either not having a girlfriend anymore, or not having a girlfriend, or just not really, not really caring, either way, and just skateboarding, drifting, rolling down the street; rolling home alone." The songwriter himself not only has a different view of the song, he has an almost completely opposite view. This goes to show that every piece of art is completely open to the full range of interpretation, and furthermore amplifies the idea that once a person creates something and submits it to anyone other than themselves it is no longer theirs, it belongs to everyone.
This brings to conclusion the second edition of The Suicide Watch Songs Blog. As always I encourage discussion and suggestions. Feel free to comment or email me at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net. Next time we'll explore the genre I call "Devil May Care." Thanks for reading.
"Rollin' Home Alone" by Jason Lytle, from Your's Truly, The Commuter
Note: This song is not 8:51 long, only 4:15. The video has 4:35 of silence at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWUTMF_ArUs
Grandaddy is one of my favorite bands. Unfortunately I only started to get into them after they already come through Detroit for the last time. Sure, I was lucky enough that an EP and LP were still to be released, but I never got a chance to see the band live. It is my understanding that Lytle broke up the band because the band was getting bigger, there were more expectations and obligations, and it wore on his creative spirit and became an unhealthy environment for him. Afterwards, Lytle moved to Montana. While I was certain he would continue to make music, I was deathly afraid that one of my favorite musicians would never release anything to the public again. I was absolutely thrilled when I found out he was releasing a solo album only a few years later. I waited until his Detroit date opening up for Nico Case to purchase Lytle's solo debut, Yours Truly, The Commuter. I figured this would be a good way to check out the new material as well as hoping that he would get some more money than usual by buying direct.
There were two songs that made me tear up at that concert, one of which was "Rollin' Home Alone." It is one of those songs with few lyrics that repeat with small changes to augment the story. Again, while interpreting every lyric is not the aim of this blog, there are so few that my options are to dissect the entire thing or not at all. That being said, lets dig in.
"Rollin' home alone, here we go again, as if it's not alright, as if I need a friend." The second time through last couplet changes to "As if I even care, I might as well pretend." The tone of the verses come off in a slight sarcasm that truly sets up the hopeless feel of the song. One really gets the idea that this has happened many times before and the character is self aware enough to know he is headed down the same path as always and once again without recourse.
The chorus is what really gets me. "But I bought you something nice, yeah I got you something warm, for when the weather turns, when will I ever learn." "For when," becomes "And then," in the second chorus. The character tried his hardest. I got you a gift, not only a nice gift, but a thoughtful gift. It is getting cold out, and I bought you something warm. When will I ever learn...
Unrequited love is so hard because one has the hardest time realizing that it really has nothing to do with them. There is no way to make someone love you.
Musically there are many great things about this track. First off, a colleague of mine put it best when he said that Jason Lytle sings in such a way that any song could be reviewed for Suicide Watch. Lytle's voice is so beautiful, high and so fragile that it feels like turning the volume up too high might break it. The song certainly has the texture of a Jason Lytle song. It is driven by a rhythm section of acoustic guitar, bass, and drums, with synth and mellotron intertwining. My favorite part of the entire song is after the first chorus a guitar feedback loop builds out of the last chord and continues through the interlude, which chordally consists of a verse and chorus. This loop clashes with the verse chords and then resolves perfectly with the chorus chords. The tension and release of this is just amazing.
Now we come to the the concept that I think is the most interesting and most important about this blog. Lytle's record label, Anti, has a video up on their Youtube page in which Lytle speaks about the meanings of the songs on the record. He states that "Rollin' Home Alone" is about "... just feelin free. I don't know, either not having a girlfriend anymore, or not having a girlfriend, or just not really, not really caring, either way, and just skateboarding, drifting, rolling down the street; rolling home alone." The songwriter himself not only has a different view of the song, he has an almost completely opposite view. This goes to show that every piece of art is completely open to the full range of interpretation, and furthermore amplifies the idea that once a person creates something and submits it to anyone other than themselves it is no longer theirs, it belongs to everyone.
This brings to conclusion the second edition of The Suicide Watch Songs Blog. As always I encourage discussion and suggestions. Feel free to comment or email me at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net. Next time we'll explore the genre I call "Devil May Care." Thanks for reading.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Sea Anemone
Welcome to Suicide Watch Song of The Week. It's a bit of a misnomer because I'm actually going to publish every other week. You can look forward to a post on the 1st and 15th of every month. What is this blog about? I'm going to review and analyze the music that I love best; anything that one would listen to when they want to kill themselves. You'll come to see shortly what this means to me and I hope to find out what that means to you. I am always interested in hearing new music and would love to hear what songs that you listen to on Suicide Watch or if there is any you would like me to feature on this blog. Feel free to email me at:
SuicideSongs@CommunistDayCareCenter.net
And now to this week’s song:
"Sea Anemone" by Jets To Brazil from Orange Rhyming Dictionary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2jU5jcGGzc
Jets To Brazil was the brainchild of Blake Schwarzenbach, who put the band together after the breakup of his former band, Jawbreaker. "Sea Anemone" is the sixth track off of the first Jets To Brazil album, Orange Rhyming Dictionary, and it is this week's Suicide Watch Song.
If you were to listen to the rest of the album (as I highly suggest you do; it is brilliant) you would immediately notice that it has a different timbre than "Sea Anemone." The album has that later 90's grunge/pop kind of sound. It reminds me a lot of Matthew Sweet but not as pretty. Sea Anemone certainly fits on this album, but it also stands apart.
It opens with a single clean electric guitar soaked in just the right amount of reverb. The opening chords are played, then "The curtain's a sea anemone," and then space. "Anemone" is a hard word to say and Schwarzenbach articulates it beautifully. It is so clear, and then a momentary pause. He gives you enough time to think. One doesn't hear the word Anemone often. You are given the time to recall the image of a sea anemone. "in the way it sways," pause, are you thinking of the curtain, or the movement of the anemone? "To the slow breeze," Schwarzenbach completes the metaphor. Note that it sways "to" the slow breeze, not 'in' the slow breeze. The curtain reacts to wind in the same way one might react to music. It is a character, not an object.
The next couplet, "I lay spread out on the floor, looking at these things," pause "most of them are yours." Once again you are given time to think about what those things might be, and then you are filled in on the story. It continues, "And it's so nice, sitting very still, without those old shoes I could never fill." From the time one is a child they are conditioned to not give up. One is given the 'Quitters never win, and Winners never quit!' kind of bullshit. We all want to be perfect. We all want to bend reality with our will. We all want the spoils of war, and it hurts when you lose, but sometimes losing is the greatest relief because it means you don't have to be perfect anymore.
And then the band kicks in.
I could go through and analyze every single line, but I don't think that is necessary. One of the things that drew me to this song is how it is completely accessible and it lacks gullibility. By that I mean that Schwarzenbach has succeeded in writing a song that is straightforward in telling you everything you need to know, there is no mystery, yet the lyrics are delivered in such a way that you still feel you're figuring the song out.
We'll do one more verse for example:
"And it's so nice, sleeping here all alone ..." You picture the character in bed.
"with my ashtray ..." He's a smoker, the ashtray is next to the bed
"and white courtesy telephone." OH! HE'S IN A HOTEL!
Wait why is he in a hotel? He's living there? Oh, yeah, it must have been bad.
"and now I'm making out the shapes, like the shower rod ..." And it gets quiet here. This line hits me hard every time. "Can it take my weight?"
"I will tell you that I'm fine. I've got news friend, feels like 'm dying." I am forever thankful that he didn’t end that line with something like “I’m lying.”
Interestingly enough this song is redemptive at the end, even if it doesn't feel like it. Throughout we learn that a man has been forever changed and in a rough way. There is no more of the original man left, and though he is not ready to, he is forced to start anew. "It's the first day of my second life" "You can even keep the name, it never fit me anyway."
Here is a man reborn through pain. Maybe reborn is the wrong word. The man that was is not anymore. The man that now stands in his place is new, that new man knows but one thing: The man that lived before him left him a lot of pain to inherit.
The music is great. It is minimalistic and layered thick with simple lines, many times coming down to just the drums and voice on the heavy lyrics with some guitar ringing over from last measure. The mellotron at the end is an absolutely gorgeous touch and of course the song is in D minor, the saddest of all keys.
This is a great song from a great band with a lot to say. Orange Rhyming Dictionary listens like a Quentin Tarantino move in the way that you get more and more details about the story filled in with each passing song. You get all the details out of order and the whole thing makes sense by the end. That is not to say you have the whole story by the end, but I think the point is that there is no end. I just found out about this band and am eager to take in the rest of their catalog as well as Schwarzenbach's other projects.
That does it for this first installment of Suicide Watch Songs Of The Week. Feel free to email me at SuicideSongs@CommunistDayCareCenter.Net
SuicideSongs@CommunistDayCareCenter.net
And now to this week’s song:
"Sea Anemone" by Jets To Brazil from Orange Rhyming Dictionary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2jU5jcGGzc
Jets To Brazil was the brainchild of Blake Schwarzenbach, who put the band together after the breakup of his former band, Jawbreaker. "Sea Anemone" is the sixth track off of the first Jets To Brazil album, Orange Rhyming Dictionary, and it is this week's Suicide Watch Song.
If you were to listen to the rest of the album (as I highly suggest you do; it is brilliant) you would immediately notice that it has a different timbre than "Sea Anemone." The album has that later 90's grunge/pop kind of sound. It reminds me a lot of Matthew Sweet but not as pretty. Sea Anemone certainly fits on this album, but it also stands apart.
It opens with a single clean electric guitar soaked in just the right amount of reverb. The opening chords are played, then "The curtain's a sea anemone," and then space. "Anemone" is a hard word to say and Schwarzenbach articulates it beautifully. It is so clear, and then a momentary pause. He gives you enough time to think. One doesn't hear the word Anemone often. You are given the time to recall the image of a sea anemone. "in the way it sways," pause, are you thinking of the curtain, or the movement of the anemone? "To the slow breeze," Schwarzenbach completes the metaphor. Note that it sways "to" the slow breeze, not 'in' the slow breeze. The curtain reacts to wind in the same way one might react to music. It is a character, not an object.
The next couplet, "I lay spread out on the floor, looking at these things," pause "most of them are yours." Once again you are given time to think about what those things might be, and then you are filled in on the story. It continues, "And it's so nice, sitting very still, without those old shoes I could never fill." From the time one is a child they are conditioned to not give up. One is given the 'Quitters never win, and Winners never quit!' kind of bullshit. We all want to be perfect. We all want to bend reality with our will. We all want the spoils of war, and it hurts when you lose, but sometimes losing is the greatest relief because it means you don't have to be perfect anymore.
And then the band kicks in.
I could go through and analyze every single line, but I don't think that is necessary. One of the things that drew me to this song is how it is completely accessible and it lacks gullibility. By that I mean that Schwarzenbach has succeeded in writing a song that is straightforward in telling you everything you need to know, there is no mystery, yet the lyrics are delivered in such a way that you still feel you're figuring the song out.
We'll do one more verse for example:
"And it's so nice, sleeping here all alone ..." You picture the character in bed.
"with my ashtray ..." He's a smoker, the ashtray is next to the bed
"and white courtesy telephone." OH! HE'S IN A HOTEL!
Wait why is he in a hotel? He's living there? Oh, yeah, it must have been bad.
"and now I'm making out the shapes, like the shower rod ..." And it gets quiet here. This line hits me hard every time. "Can it take my weight?"
"I will tell you that I'm fine. I've got news friend, feels like 'm dying." I am forever thankful that he didn’t end that line with something like “I’m lying.”
Interestingly enough this song is redemptive at the end, even if it doesn't feel like it. Throughout we learn that a man has been forever changed and in a rough way. There is no more of the original man left, and though he is not ready to, he is forced to start anew. "It's the first day of my second life" "You can even keep the name, it never fit me anyway."
Here is a man reborn through pain. Maybe reborn is the wrong word. The man that was is not anymore. The man that now stands in his place is new, that new man knows but one thing: The man that lived before him left him a lot of pain to inherit.
The music is great. It is minimalistic and layered thick with simple lines, many times coming down to just the drums and voice on the heavy lyrics with some guitar ringing over from last measure. The mellotron at the end is an absolutely gorgeous touch and of course the song is in D minor, the saddest of all keys.
This is a great song from a great band with a lot to say. Orange Rhyming Dictionary listens like a Quentin Tarantino move in the way that you get more and more details about the story filled in with each passing song. You get all the details out of order and the whole thing makes sense by the end. That is not to say you have the whole story by the end, but I think the point is that there is no end. I just found out about this band and am eager to take in the rest of their catalog as well as Schwarzenbach's other projects.
That does it for this first installment of Suicide Watch Songs Of The Week. Feel free to email me at SuicideSongs@CommunistDayCareCenter.Net
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