Everything I Say

Vic Chesnutt was a prolific American songwriter. In nineteen years the man put out seventeen albums. His lyrics are brilliant and haunting. His style is brutally frank and beautifully poetic at the same time. Often a solo act, Chesnutt recorded two albums near the end of his life in collaboration with Guy Picciotto of Fugazi fame, and the band Silver Mt. Zion. At The Cut was Chesnutt's final release, save for the posthumously released Skitter on Take-Off, thus it is currently the one that popularly people are examining for any clues to the mystery that was Vic Chesnutt. I suggest we look a little deeper into what I view as the darker of the two collaborations. Here is  "Everything I Say" from 2007's North Star Deserter.

"Everything I Say" by Vic Chesnutt from North Star Deserter



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rPyQFmGmb4

The album version is great, but after seeing the above video I decided I would be doing you all a great disservice if I did not use it instead. It is a high definition, fidelity, and quality video of Chesnutt with his full backup band at a house show, shot for an internet show that shows house shows, 'The Neighbors Dog'. In this video you learn that Chesnutt was a consummate entertainer. He is warm and inviting, funny, and delivers one of the most emotionally wrought performances I have ever seen.

From the outset it is obvious what a struggle it must be for Chesnutt to play, yet at the same time somehow it seems effortless. It seems so hard physically for him to play, but it does not come out in the music. I'm making a judgment that really doesn't matter aren't I? If I were to have had the chance to ask Chesnutt about it, my guess is that his answer would be something along the lines of "It's irrelevant because I don't know any other way," or "I can't change it."

The song starts with Chesnutt solo and these lyrics "The barn fell down since I saw it last." The use of the word "fell" is interesting to me. As a standard I expected "burnt," either for it's alliterative or dramatic quality. "Fell" implies something simple. It wasn't missed because of an act of God, it was time for it to happen. Our character had forgotten the barn, and when he came back it was too late. There is no blame but directly themselves for missing the barn. We continue "It's rubble now. Well, so much for the past." Nothing to show for it. Oh well. The band enters on the chorus with an incredibly thick, dark tone that just boils with torment. "Everything I say does me this way. Every little thing I say does me this way." Everything. Every little thing. I can't catch a break, but that's par for the course.

"Some call her a thief, and some call her a prophet." Who is Chesnutt talking about? Is this a person, an idea? Is it life or death? Chesnutt is known for treating such things as characters. He doesn't really give us many clues, but I'm not so sure it matters if we know the specifics of what he is speaking about. In the end we are using this simile to speak about our main character's life. "But her courage is brief. Brief as little, little Miss Muffet." This character is looked upon with either great admiration, or with petty betrayal. Either way this character has a strong edifice within the public eye, but underneath the facade is a person unable to actually be strong, someone more likely to run than stand up to a challenge.

"Everything, every little thing that I say does me this way." I talk big. I talk strong. I am uncompromising and sure, and I am betrayed by this. I might as well not say anything, because it will be torn down. The following solo interlude is big and overwhelming. Everyone is playing furiously and the solo can barely be heard. It's like shouting into the wind, it's a lost cause. And then, calm.

The final verse kicks in, but feels like a dirge, like a death march. Moving forward dismally with no hope. "She wanted to be an inventor, but nothing new was all she could muster." Complete failure. Antithesis of success. The one thing set out to do yielded absolutely no result. I can not do one thing right, but "Everything I say does me this way." I cannot win. The final chorus kicks in and somehow the group manages to make it bigger and more enveloping each time. At the end Chesnutt's voice carries out past the band strong, but frail. Like little Miss Muffet it cracks and fails as it ends and brings the song to such a sacred end that to break the silence Chesnutt cracks a joke.

I mentioned that the last two Chesnutt albums have been released posthumously. That is because Chesnutt committed suicide roughly a month after this video was filmed. Chesnutt took an overdose of muscle relaxants and, after being in a coma for a few days, passed away on December 25th, 2009. For those of you playing along at home, that brings the tally of artists on Suicide Watch Songs that have committed suicide to three. There is a song on At The Cut titled "Flirted with you all my life," in which Chesnutt is speaking about death and his history with attempting suicide. Certainly it is a good song and deserves it's place in the Chesnutt canon, but because of Chesnutt's suicide, it now has become his most popular song, as though his actions changed the meaning of the song. It worries me that people will latch on to that song and not go any deeper. I've seen it happen before. When Elliott Smith committed suicide he was in the middle of recording an album. After he died, some collaborators of his came together to finish the album. One of the songs on the album was titled "A Fond Farewell." It was the only song of Elliott Smith's that I ever heard on the radio. I heard countless "It's so sad that this guy died" remarks from DJ's that never played his music before. The fact that a great artist wrote a song about death before they died doesn't make that artist any better or any worse and it is insulting to judge them by that factor. Vic Chesnutt was an amazing dark, and deep songwriter. He had a great ability to be stark and honest without being cheap, and to link a song of his by an event that on one end of the spectrum can be called coincidence and the other inevitability cheapens the man and his work. I beg you, if you are one who came to Chesnutt through that song in particular, you owe it to him to dig a little deeper.

Well, that does it. One year of Suicide Watch Songs down, hopefully many more to come. Next time for our one year anniversary we'll take a look at the song that inspired Suicide Watch Songs. It just happens to be an Elliott Smith song, and it just happens to come from the same album as "A Fond Farewell." As always, feel free to comment here, or on the forums at Communist Day Care Center, or send me an email directly at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net