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The first time I heard Grandaddy, someone lent me a copy of The Sophtware Slump. That's the album that today's song is on, though I'm not sure I had heard the song then. You see, I hated it. I thought the music was boring and uninspired. I wrote the band off and didn't listen to them for quite a while. A few years later I was listening to an NPR and heard a review of the band's new album, Sumday. The reviewer made a simile that intrigued me enough to give the band another chance. He said that the way that Grandaddy used electronics and synthesizers to make music about the attempt to be human in an inhuman world was in a way like the junk man who also sculpts and sells beautiful works of art made out of the junk he also sells. Today's entry is a song about a poem written by a robot that killed itself by drinking Grandaddy's "Jed's Other Poem"
Jed's Other Poem (Beatuiful Ground)
by Grandaddy from The Sophtware Slump
Jed’s Other Poem (Beautiful Ground) from Stewdio on Vimeo.
Note: This video started as a fan project and was to appear on a Grandaddy DVD release, but the band broke up before that could happen. Now it holds the title of "official video."
Here's the backstory if you are interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBR1G550m64
The opening exposition: "Apparently before Jed had left us he wrote some poems, wrote them for no one. I guess I'll show them. Here's one of Jed's poems ..." The vocal is so frail and present. It accurately feels of the stark void of shock before the wrenching depths of grief set in.
The sound envelops us like a mudslide made up of a full organ, maybe two, and chords of dirty midrange heavy over-driven guitar. It's thick, and dark, and each note sticks to the next. Intelligent voice-leading makes the chord progression move beautifully and elegantly like a Bach chorale. The stage is set, what does Jed have to say?
"You said I'd wake up dead drunk alone in the park. I called you a liar, but how right you were." The character knew their accuser was right before he ended up in the park. The fact that they were right, that the accuser knows them so well and can use it against our character, hurts more than the accusation itself. With this verse is the addition of tight drums, another layer of keys, and a deep reverb on the voice.
"Air conditioned TV land, twenty grand. Walk to the bank with the shakes from the night before, staring at the tiki floor." The poem of a robot attempting to be human. A snapshot of cold calculations approximation of expression. Can't sleep, cold, the TV is on but I'm not watching it. Stare at the ceiling, stare at the floor, sick to my stomach with anxiety. Wait for morning.
"High school wedding ring. Keys are under the mats of all of the houses here, but not the motels." Never went anywhere. Never did nothin' worth doing. Never followed my dreams. What do I got to show for it? I never had to carry a key until now. It was under the mat, now it's a card in my wallet.
"I try to sing it funny like Beck, but it's bringing me down lower than ground, beautiful ground." Memories, experience, life, it all brings me down, it's killing me, putting me below ground, welcoming, warm ground, comforting, silent ground, "Beautiful ground."
On that lyric the music breaks and the mood changes. Our texture thins and becomes two or three quietly blended synths with running piano arpeggios that sound like they are echoing up from the bottom of a well. "Test tones and failed clones and odd parts made you." Did Jed write this line, repeating what he was told, unable to escape the fact that he was not human? Or did our narrator say it holding this up in tribute, as an honor not a detriment?
There we have it, a song about a robot that wanted to be human. A being trying as hard as they can to be something that they cannot be. A being that for that fact was used as a novelty and forgotten until that being, not able to fit in, caused it's own demise.
Thanks for bearing with me and waiting patiently for this post. The last couple of weeks have been quite trying in my personal life and I was unable to complete it. I have some extra time this week and am hoping to get a leg up on the next couple of installments. Thanks for reading, and as always feel free to comment, complain, or suggest here or at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
SWS Delayed this week, Sorry.
I'm sorry to inform you that for the first time in it's history, Suicide Watch Songs must be delayed. I will try to have the post up by this weekend. I am sorry for any inconvenience and have only done this to ensure that the blog stays at high quality. Thank you for your understanding.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
King's Crossing
The way that I cope with the hard parts of my life is by keeping so busy that I don't have time to deal with them. When the work load subsides, I fill the space with new projects. Suicide Watch Songs itself is one of those projects. During the hardest period of my life, having sixteen hours between the time I left the house and when I got back was standard fare. The hardest part of the day was my drive, which was a half hour either to work or school. It was the one hour of the day that I had nothing to do but deal with my own thoughts, the only time where I had no work to find refuge in. The radio in my vehicle didn't work very well and I would listen to my iPod with headphones. It was during this time that I really solidified my love of dark music. Listening to such desperate music helped me deal with everything that was going on in my life. This song was my favorite during that time, and when I started writing Suicide Watch Songs I told myself that I would write about it only if I could keep the article going for a year. Without further ado, here is Elliott Smith's "King's Crossing"
"King's Crossing" by Elliott Smith from From A Basement On The Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezerLW5jPwI
Elliott Smith was a Portland, Oregon based singer/songwriter that, if you are not in the know, would most likely know from the use of his songs in the move Good Will Hunting. The filmmaker and Portland resident, Gus Van Sant, was a fan of Smith's music, and used multiple songs from Smith's third album Either/Or for the film, as well as using a re-lyriced, previously unreleased song, "Miss Misery." This song was given an Academy Award nomination for Best Original Song that year, to be beaten by Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic.
Good Will Hunting and it's notoriety launched Smith's career, who after putting out three albums on smaller independent labels, signed with Dreamworks. Smith had previously put out low fidelity, mostly cassette-tape four-tack master recordings. You can even hear the tape record click at the beginning of the first song on Either/Or. Dreamworks would not allow the low level recording style that Smith had started his career with and demanded a higher fidelity product. The following albums, XO and Figure 8, showed off not only Smith's ever growing songwriting prowess, but his intricate arranging skills as well. It turns out that Smith was more than an impeccable songwriter, but a brilliant mind in the studio as well.
On October 23, 2003, Smith died in his home, of two stab wounds to the chest. It was an apparent suicide, though his autopsy did not rule out foul play. The person that first introduced me to Smith's work was also the first person I called when I heard that Smith had died. That man's mother happens to be a nurse stated that stabbing one's self in the chest was extremely rare, not only due to the immense pain, but also because it is extremely hard to do, and was only done by people that were high on PCP. While Smith had long battled substance abuse and alcoholism, his autopsy confirmed that he was clean at the time of his death.
In the year following Smith's death his final album, From A Basement On The Hill, was finished by the musicians and friends that were helping Smith with it and released. The album relies on a different tonal backdrop, and reflects Smith's new interest in noise music. There is an increased attention to background, ambiance, and found sounds. One can hear that throughout the intro to "King's Crossing" and at one particular point it raises an interesting question later in the song.
An abyss of guitars, bouncing piano and wall-of-lost-souls background vocals starts the song, eventually dropping out leaving a sonic gap that Smith walks into with his guitar and the lyrics. "The king's crossing was the main attraction, dominoes falling in a chain reaction. The scraping subject ruled by fear told me whiskey works better than beer." Already we are unsettled, but we are not sure why. Which dominoes are falling, and why go straight to the hard stuff? "The judge is on vinyl, decisions aren't final and nobody gets a reprieve, and every wave is tidal. If you hang around you're going to get wet." We're going to find out. Even if we don't, it's coming and it's going to spill over.
The wall of lost souls pulls us into what I find as the most poignant line of the song. "I can't prepare for death any more than I already have." The last word heralds the entrance of the drums and organ and the line finishes. "All you can do now is watch the shells. The game looks easy, that's why it sells." Smith is the best songwriter I know at writing simply and making you feel like you've figured out the deepest meaning of some ancient philosopher. For a minute you feel smart, when we really should understand that what's really going on is that Smith 'gets it.' He understands life better than the rest of us and doesn't need to mince words about it. Life is a rigged game. There's only winners and losers and don't get caught on the wrong side of that line.
The next downbeat opens the flood gates for the full orchestration. "Frustrated fireworks inside your head are gonna stand and deliver dark instead." The lyrics and music match so beautifully here. Our character is fighting his own thought process, grasping at ideas, motivation, but instead, in defiance they 'stand and deliver' nothing. "The method acting that pays my bills keeps a fat man feeding in Beverly Hills." Doing that thing that I do, the thing I do best, is worthless to me and is only of value to those who exploit it of me. "I' got a heavy metal mouth. It hurls obscenity, and I get my check from the trash treasury because I took my own insides out." Took my own. Our character destroyed himself, and for something he doesn't really want.
The music makes way for the next verse. "It don't matter 'cause I have no sex life and all I want to do now is inject my ex-wife." A well placed double entendre. Does he want sex, to kill her, or to fuck her to death? Maybe all three. "I've seen the movie and I know what happens. It's Christmas time and the needles on the tree. A skinny Santa is bringing something to me." An obvious fraud, an impostor. "His voice is overwhelming. His speech is slurred, and I only understand every other word." We break wide open again here "Open your parachute and grab your gun, float down like an omen, a setting sun." Head into battle, fall to Earth, same difference. "Read the part and return at five. It's a hell of a role if you can keep it alive." Method act, fall to Earth, same difference. "But I don't care if I fuck up, I'm going on a date with a rich white lady. Ain't life great? Just give me one good reason not to do it..."
I'm not sure about what happens next. It doesn't feel right to me. A lady's voice enters with "because I love you," and Smith answers, "So do it." To me it really feels edited and out of place, unnecessary. Here is live solo version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX6etUAIbRU , (lyric at 2:20). The lyrical silence says enough. Speak now or forever hold your peace, and no one speaks. I am not certain of the age of this recording, but it may be as old as 1999. (It sounds quite familiar to a high quality audio recording also available on youtube, but I wanted to let you guys see Smith's sullen demeanor in performance.) Now check out this one, from January of 2003, a few months before Smith's suicide. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmXf3-iSKhg (lyric at 2:19). Did you hear it? In the crowd, the lady yelling "Because I love you." That is so much more real to me than the studio recording. How does she know? Is she the inspiration for the line? Is she Smith's girlfriend yelling it, an audience plant? Does the mystery girl have a bootleg copy of the track? Or, my favorite scenario; Is she the inspiration? No matter what, the studio version really bothers me. It takes me out of the song, and I want to believe that it's the mixing without Smith's presence that caused the line to stick out like a sore thumb. "So do it ..."
As the interlude fades the lyrics enter for the last time. "This is the place where time reverses. Dead men talk to all the pretty nurses." Time reverses, we count down instead of up. "Instruments shine on a silver tray, don't let me get carried away." Here's where I put on my over analytical cap and look too deeply at a lyric. Of all the beautifully upfront Elliott Smith lyrics, this is the one I'm going to dissect, and I'm probably going to be wrong. The image is one of a sterile, cold, surgical environment. It gives me a mental flash of a nursing home, or luny bin, a prison where they tell you you're at home. The use of the word instruments keeps gnawing at my brain. Is he talking about musical instruments, not doctors tools? Is he in the sterile, big studio environment? All of the previous lyrics about trading himself for what he thought he wanted? Smith did have to trade in his four-track recorder when he signed a big label contract. Does he wish he was in his basement again, just this time he's on the hill and not in the valley? The oldest recordings of this song I've found with these lyrics came from around the time he signed with Dreamworks. (Just for fun here's an older, alternate lyric version of the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsvR3ekAfUM) Is this Smith pleading, don't swallow me whole, don't make me be who I don't want to be. "Don't let me get carried away."
*Steps up onto soapbox.* A final thought about Elliott Smith; All of us have to stop talking about how "Beatlesque" Smith is. I understand what you're saying, but this man is not in the image of Lennon/McCartney, he is on par, a colleague of Lennon/McCartney, and he deserves the same respect and reverence. If you don't believe me, wait ten years for the current electro-pop phase of music to die down, and read all the upcoming band's interviews where they tell you their influences and I guarantee that Elliott Smith will be on the top of their lists. *Steps down off of soapbox.*
Once again I have to thank all of you for hanging with me through this first year. It's been a lot of fun and I look forward to listening and writing more. Please, if you have suggestions, let me know. I'm very interested in new music and often feel like I'm pigeonholing myself into music that I already like. Send those along, or just comment here on the page, on this Forum, or send me an email directly at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net
"King's Crossing" by Elliott Smith from From A Basement On The Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezerLW5jPwI
Elliott Smith was a Portland, Oregon based singer/songwriter that, if you are not in the know, would most likely know from the use of his songs in the move Good Will Hunting. The filmmaker and Portland resident, Gus Van Sant, was a fan of Smith's music, and used multiple songs from Smith's third album Either/Or for the film, as well as using a re-lyriced, previously unreleased song, "Miss Misery." This song was given an Academy Award nomination for Best Original Song that year, to be beaten by Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic.
Good Will Hunting and it's notoriety launched Smith's career, who after putting out three albums on smaller independent labels, signed with Dreamworks. Smith had previously put out low fidelity, mostly cassette-tape four-tack master recordings. You can even hear the tape record click at the beginning of the first song on Either/Or. Dreamworks would not allow the low level recording style that Smith had started his career with and demanded a higher fidelity product. The following albums, XO and Figure 8, showed off not only Smith's ever growing songwriting prowess, but his intricate arranging skills as well. It turns out that Smith was more than an impeccable songwriter, but a brilliant mind in the studio as well.
On October 23, 2003, Smith died in his home, of two stab wounds to the chest. It was an apparent suicide, though his autopsy did not rule out foul play. The person that first introduced me to Smith's work was also the first person I called when I heard that Smith had died. That man's mother happens to be a nurse stated that stabbing one's self in the chest was extremely rare, not only due to the immense pain, but also because it is extremely hard to do, and was only done by people that were high on PCP. While Smith had long battled substance abuse and alcoholism, his autopsy confirmed that he was clean at the time of his death.
In the year following Smith's death his final album, From A Basement On The Hill, was finished by the musicians and friends that were helping Smith with it and released. The album relies on a different tonal backdrop, and reflects Smith's new interest in noise music. There is an increased attention to background, ambiance, and found sounds. One can hear that throughout the intro to "King's Crossing" and at one particular point it raises an interesting question later in the song.
An abyss of guitars, bouncing piano and wall-of-lost-souls background vocals starts the song, eventually dropping out leaving a sonic gap that Smith walks into with his guitar and the lyrics. "The king's crossing was the main attraction, dominoes falling in a chain reaction. The scraping subject ruled by fear told me whiskey works better than beer." Already we are unsettled, but we are not sure why. Which dominoes are falling, and why go straight to the hard stuff? "The judge is on vinyl, decisions aren't final and nobody gets a reprieve, and every wave is tidal. If you hang around you're going to get wet." We're going to find out. Even if we don't, it's coming and it's going to spill over.
The wall of lost souls pulls us into what I find as the most poignant line of the song. "I can't prepare for death any more than I already have." The last word heralds the entrance of the drums and organ and the line finishes. "All you can do now is watch the shells. The game looks easy, that's why it sells." Smith is the best songwriter I know at writing simply and making you feel like you've figured out the deepest meaning of some ancient philosopher. For a minute you feel smart, when we really should understand that what's really going on is that Smith 'gets it.' He understands life better than the rest of us and doesn't need to mince words about it. Life is a rigged game. There's only winners and losers and don't get caught on the wrong side of that line.
The next downbeat opens the flood gates for the full orchestration. "Frustrated fireworks inside your head are gonna stand and deliver dark instead." The lyrics and music match so beautifully here. Our character is fighting his own thought process, grasping at ideas, motivation, but instead, in defiance they 'stand and deliver' nothing. "The method acting that pays my bills keeps a fat man feeding in Beverly Hills." Doing that thing that I do, the thing I do best, is worthless to me and is only of value to those who exploit it of me. "I' got a heavy metal mouth. It hurls obscenity, and I get my check from the trash treasury because I took my own insides out." Took my own. Our character destroyed himself, and for something he doesn't really want.
The music makes way for the next verse. "It don't matter 'cause I have no sex life and all I want to do now is inject my ex-wife." A well placed double entendre. Does he want sex, to kill her, or to fuck her to death? Maybe all three. "I've seen the movie and I know what happens. It's Christmas time and the needles on the tree. A skinny Santa is bringing something to me." An obvious fraud, an impostor. "His voice is overwhelming. His speech is slurred, and I only understand every other word." We break wide open again here "Open your parachute and grab your gun, float down like an omen, a setting sun." Head into battle, fall to Earth, same difference. "Read the part and return at five. It's a hell of a role if you can keep it alive." Method act, fall to Earth, same difference. "But I don't care if I fuck up, I'm going on a date with a rich white lady. Ain't life great? Just give me one good reason not to do it..."
I'm not sure about what happens next. It doesn't feel right to me. A lady's voice enters with "because I love you," and Smith answers, "So do it." To me it really feels edited and out of place, unnecessary. Here is live solo version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX6etUAIbRU , (lyric at 2:20). The lyrical silence says enough. Speak now or forever hold your peace, and no one speaks. I am not certain of the age of this recording, but it may be as old as 1999. (It sounds quite familiar to a high quality audio recording also available on youtube, but I wanted to let you guys see Smith's sullen demeanor in performance.) Now check out this one, from January of 2003, a few months before Smith's suicide. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmXf3-iSKhg (lyric at 2:19). Did you hear it? In the crowd, the lady yelling "Because I love you." That is so much more real to me than the studio recording. How does she know? Is she the inspiration for the line? Is she Smith's girlfriend yelling it, an audience plant? Does the mystery girl have a bootleg copy of the track? Or, my favorite scenario; Is she the inspiration? No matter what, the studio version really bothers me. It takes me out of the song, and I want to believe that it's the mixing without Smith's presence that caused the line to stick out like a sore thumb. "So do it ..."
As the interlude fades the lyrics enter for the last time. "This is the place where time reverses. Dead men talk to all the pretty nurses." Time reverses, we count down instead of up. "Instruments shine on a silver tray, don't let me get carried away." Here's where I put on my over analytical cap and look too deeply at a lyric. Of all the beautifully upfront Elliott Smith lyrics, this is the one I'm going to dissect, and I'm probably going to be wrong. The image is one of a sterile, cold, surgical environment. It gives me a mental flash of a nursing home, or luny bin, a prison where they tell you you're at home. The use of the word instruments keeps gnawing at my brain. Is he talking about musical instruments, not doctors tools? Is he in the sterile, big studio environment? All of the previous lyrics about trading himself for what he thought he wanted? Smith did have to trade in his four-track recorder when he signed a big label contract. Does he wish he was in his basement again, just this time he's on the hill and not in the valley? The oldest recordings of this song I've found with these lyrics came from around the time he signed with Dreamworks. (Just for fun here's an older, alternate lyric version of the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsvR3ekAfUM) Is this Smith pleading, don't swallow me whole, don't make me be who I don't want to be. "Don't let me get carried away."
*Steps up onto soapbox.* A final thought about Elliott Smith; All of us have to stop talking about how "Beatlesque" Smith is. I understand what you're saying, but this man is not in the image of Lennon/McCartney, he is on par, a colleague of Lennon/McCartney, and he deserves the same respect and reverence. If you don't believe me, wait ten years for the current electro-pop phase of music to die down, and read all the upcoming band's interviews where they tell you their influences and I guarantee that Elliott Smith will be on the top of their lists. *Steps down off of soapbox.*
Once again I have to thank all of you for hanging with me through this first year. It's been a lot of fun and I look forward to listening and writing more. Please, if you have suggestions, let me know. I'm very interested in new music and often feel like I'm pigeonholing myself into music that I already like. Send those along, or just comment here on the page, on this Forum, or send me an email directly at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Everything I Say
Vic Chesnutt was a prolific American songwriter. In nineteen years the man put out seventeen albums. His lyrics are brilliant and haunting. His style is brutally frank and beautifully poetic at the same time. Often a solo act, Chesnutt recorded two albums near the end of his life in collaboration with Guy Picciotto of Fugazi fame, and the band Silver Mt. Zion. At The Cut was Chesnutt's final release, save for the posthumously released Skitter on Take-Off, thus it is currently the one that popularly people are examining for any clues to the mystery that was Vic Chesnutt. I suggest we look a little deeper into what I view as the darker of the two collaborations. Here is "Everything I Say" from 2007's North Star Deserter.
"Everything I Say" by Vic Chesnutt from North Star Deserter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rPyQFmGmb4
The album version is great, but after seeing the above video I decided I would be doing you all a great disservice if I did not use it instead. It is a high definition, fidelity, and quality video of Chesnutt with his full backup band at a house show, shot for an internet show that shows house shows, 'The Neighbors Dog'. In this video you learn that Chesnutt was a consummate entertainer. He is warm and inviting, funny, and delivers one of the most emotionally wrought performances I have ever seen.
From the outset it is obvious what a struggle it must be for Chesnutt to play, yet at the same time somehow it seems effortless. It seems so hard physically for him to play, but it does not come out in the music. I'm making a judgment that really doesn't matter aren't I? If I were to have had the chance to ask Chesnutt about it, my guess is that his answer would be something along the lines of "It's irrelevant because I don't know any other way," or "I can't change it."
The song starts with Chesnutt solo and these lyrics "The barn fell down since I saw it last." The use of the word "fell" is interesting to me. As a standard I expected "burnt," either for it's alliterative or dramatic quality. "Fell" implies something simple. It wasn't missed because of an act of God, it was time for it to happen. Our character had forgotten the barn, and when he came back it was too late. There is no blame but directly themselves for missing the barn. We continue "It's rubble now. Well, so much for the past." Nothing to show for it. Oh well. The band enters on the chorus with an incredibly thick, dark tone that just boils with torment. "Everything I say does me this way. Every little thing I say does me this way." Everything. Every little thing. I can't catch a break, but that's par for the course.
"Some call her a thief, and some call her a prophet." Who is Chesnutt talking about? Is this a person, an idea? Is it life or death? Chesnutt is known for treating such things as characters. He doesn't really give us many clues, but I'm not so sure it matters if we know the specifics of what he is speaking about. In the end we are using this simile to speak about our main character's life. "But her courage is brief. Brief as little, little Miss Muffet." This character is looked upon with either great admiration, or with petty betrayal. Either way this character has a strong edifice within the public eye, but underneath the facade is a person unable to actually be strong, someone more likely to run than stand up to a challenge.
"Everything, every little thing that I say does me this way." I talk big. I talk strong. I am uncompromising and sure, and I am betrayed by this. I might as well not say anything, because it will be torn down. The following solo interlude is big and overwhelming. Everyone is playing furiously and the solo can barely be heard. It's like shouting into the wind, it's a lost cause. And then, calm.
The final verse kicks in, but feels like a dirge, like a death march. Moving forward dismally with no hope. "She wanted to be an inventor, but nothing new was all she could muster." Complete failure. Antithesis of success. The one thing set out to do yielded absolutely no result. I can not do one thing right, but "Everything I say does me this way." I cannot win. The final chorus kicks in and somehow the group manages to make it bigger and more enveloping each time. At the end Chesnutt's voice carries out past the band strong, but frail. Like little Miss Muffet it cracks and fails as it ends and brings the song to such a sacred end that to break the silence Chesnutt cracks a joke.
I mentioned that the last two Chesnutt albums have been released posthumously. That is because Chesnutt committed suicide roughly a month after this video was filmed. Chesnutt took an overdose of muscle relaxants and, after being in a coma for a few days, passed away on December 25th, 2009. For those of you playing along at home, that brings the tally of artists on Suicide Watch Songs that have committed suicide to three. There is a song on At The Cut titled "Flirted with you all my life," in which Chesnutt is speaking about death and his history with attempting suicide. Certainly it is a good song and deserves it's place in the Chesnutt canon, but because of Chesnutt's suicide, it now has become his most popular song, as though his actions changed the meaning of the song. It worries me that people will latch on to that song and not go any deeper. I've seen it happen before. When Elliott Smith committed suicide he was in the middle of recording an album. After he died, some collaborators of his came together to finish the album. One of the songs on the album was titled "A Fond Farewell." It was the only song of Elliott Smith's that I ever heard on the radio. I heard countless "It's so sad that this guy died" remarks from DJ's that never played his music before. The fact that a great artist wrote a song about death before they died doesn't make that artist any better or any worse and it is insulting to judge them by that factor. Vic Chesnutt was an amazing dark, and deep songwriter. He had a great ability to be stark and honest without being cheap, and to link a song of his by an event that on one end of the spectrum can be called coincidence and the other inevitability cheapens the man and his work. I beg you, if you are one who came to Chesnutt through that song in particular, you owe it to him to dig a little deeper.
Well, that does it. One year of Suicide Watch Songs down, hopefully many more to come. Next time for our one year anniversary we'll take a look at the song that inspired Suicide Watch Songs. It just happens to be an Elliott Smith song, and it just happens to come from the same album as "A Fond Farewell." As always, feel free to comment here, or on the forums at Communist Day Care Center, or send me an email directly at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net
"Everything I Say" by Vic Chesnutt from North Star Deserter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rPyQFmGmb4
The album version is great, but after seeing the above video I decided I would be doing you all a great disservice if I did not use it instead. It is a high definition, fidelity, and quality video of Chesnutt with his full backup band at a house show, shot for an internet show that shows house shows, 'The Neighbors Dog'. In this video you learn that Chesnutt was a consummate entertainer. He is warm and inviting, funny, and delivers one of the most emotionally wrought performances I have ever seen.
From the outset it is obvious what a struggle it must be for Chesnutt to play, yet at the same time somehow it seems effortless. It seems so hard physically for him to play, but it does not come out in the music. I'm making a judgment that really doesn't matter aren't I? If I were to have had the chance to ask Chesnutt about it, my guess is that his answer would be something along the lines of "It's irrelevant because I don't know any other way," or "I can't change it."
The song starts with Chesnutt solo and these lyrics "The barn fell down since I saw it last." The use of the word "fell" is interesting to me. As a standard I expected "burnt," either for it's alliterative or dramatic quality. "Fell" implies something simple. It wasn't missed because of an act of God, it was time for it to happen. Our character had forgotten the barn, and when he came back it was too late. There is no blame but directly themselves for missing the barn. We continue "It's rubble now. Well, so much for the past." Nothing to show for it. Oh well. The band enters on the chorus with an incredibly thick, dark tone that just boils with torment. "Everything I say does me this way. Every little thing I say does me this way." Everything. Every little thing. I can't catch a break, but that's par for the course.
"Some call her a thief, and some call her a prophet." Who is Chesnutt talking about? Is this a person, an idea? Is it life or death? Chesnutt is known for treating such things as characters. He doesn't really give us many clues, but I'm not so sure it matters if we know the specifics of what he is speaking about. In the end we are using this simile to speak about our main character's life. "But her courage is brief. Brief as little, little Miss Muffet." This character is looked upon with either great admiration, or with petty betrayal. Either way this character has a strong edifice within the public eye, but underneath the facade is a person unable to actually be strong, someone more likely to run than stand up to a challenge.
"Everything, every little thing that I say does me this way." I talk big. I talk strong. I am uncompromising and sure, and I am betrayed by this. I might as well not say anything, because it will be torn down. The following solo interlude is big and overwhelming. Everyone is playing furiously and the solo can barely be heard. It's like shouting into the wind, it's a lost cause. And then, calm.
The final verse kicks in, but feels like a dirge, like a death march. Moving forward dismally with no hope. "She wanted to be an inventor, but nothing new was all she could muster." Complete failure. Antithesis of success. The one thing set out to do yielded absolutely no result. I can not do one thing right, but "Everything I say does me this way." I cannot win. The final chorus kicks in and somehow the group manages to make it bigger and more enveloping each time. At the end Chesnutt's voice carries out past the band strong, but frail. Like little Miss Muffet it cracks and fails as it ends and brings the song to such a sacred end that to break the silence Chesnutt cracks a joke.
I mentioned that the last two Chesnutt albums have been released posthumously. That is because Chesnutt committed suicide roughly a month after this video was filmed. Chesnutt took an overdose of muscle relaxants and, after being in a coma for a few days, passed away on December 25th, 2009. For those of you playing along at home, that brings the tally of artists on Suicide Watch Songs that have committed suicide to three. There is a song on At The Cut titled "Flirted with you all my life," in which Chesnutt is speaking about death and his history with attempting suicide. Certainly it is a good song and deserves it's place in the Chesnutt canon, but because of Chesnutt's suicide, it now has become his most popular song, as though his actions changed the meaning of the song. It worries me that people will latch on to that song and not go any deeper. I've seen it happen before. When Elliott Smith committed suicide he was in the middle of recording an album. After he died, some collaborators of his came together to finish the album. One of the songs on the album was titled "A Fond Farewell." It was the only song of Elliott Smith's that I ever heard on the radio. I heard countless "It's so sad that this guy died" remarks from DJ's that never played his music before. The fact that a great artist wrote a song about death before they died doesn't make that artist any better or any worse and it is insulting to judge them by that factor. Vic Chesnutt was an amazing dark, and deep songwriter. He had a great ability to be stark and honest without being cheap, and to link a song of his by an event that on one end of the spectrum can be called coincidence and the other inevitability cheapens the man and his work. I beg you, if you are one who came to Chesnutt through that song in particular, you owe it to him to dig a little deeper.
Well, that does it. One year of Suicide Watch Songs down, hopefully many more to come. Next time for our one year anniversary we'll take a look at the song that inspired Suicide Watch Songs. It just happens to be an Elliott Smith song, and it just happens to come from the same album as "A Fond Farewell." As always, feel free to comment here, or on the forums at Communist Day Care Center, or send me an email directly at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Passover
Greetings to you dear reader on this first day of the new year. While it is yet one more day in a string of days, I will take the opportunity to exploit the occasion and wish each and every one of you peace in your determination to change. In terms of this weblog, I resolve to diversify. Longtime readers know that my tendencies, at least for this forum, lean towards the singer/songwriter modern folk ilk. Like all New Year's Resolutions I give no guarantee on the longevity of this one, but in the spirit of the new year lets take a look at reader suggested "Passover" from Joy Division's Closer
"Passover" by Joy Division from Closer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_NggH3O90o
The suggestion came from a friend, and came in the form of him handing me a vinyl copy of Closer and saying "Here, you should do something from this," or something close to that effect. That being said, I am certain I will be corrected if I am incorrect on any of the following biographical information.
Joy Division formed in the late 70's in the burgeoning post-punk scene of Manchester, England. The band would often perform at a local club called The Factory. The manager of said club, Tony Wilson, started Factory Records and signed many of the acts that played at there. Joy Division was the most successful band to come from the label, save one, but more about that later. Joy Division's singer and frontman Ian Curtis was an epileptic. In early to mid 1980 the band was finishing their second full length album and preparing for their first United States tour. The stress was causing Curtis' epilepsy to fall out of control. Curtis was known at this time to have seizures on stage. All of this led to deepen his already apparent depression, and on May 18, 1980, the day the band was to start that first U.S. Tour Ian Curtis hanged himself. The brilliantly dark and extremely influential album Closer was released posthumously the next month.
I need to take a moment to step on this other soapbox that's to the left of the one I am on. There has been a rash of band reunitings lately that has gotten on my nerves. It seems that the economically sound movement these days is to put aside all those differences you had and get the band back together. These groups always perform horribly and are nothing but a disappointment. The reason is that these groups have no option but to become caricatures of themselves. They are working from a back catalog that at one time was culturally relevant, but is no longer. The band inevitably ends up performing music that they played many years prior, pretending that they are that many years younger, imagining that their music was going to have some kind of impact in the same way it did before. Art of all forms is as much about it's cultural context as it is of it's content. What good is expression without reason to express? Why must people try to fix their own art? At this point I must draw us back to Joy Division. After Curtis' suicide, the band formed as a separate entity, New Order. They did not continue on as Joy Division. While one could say that Joy Division has become the more culturally important and influential band, it should be noted that New Order went on to be much more successful than Joy Division ever was. New Order made the decision to move forward, not live in the past.
"Passover" opens with drums soaked in the cave reverb that is quintessential to the genre. After a few bars the bass and guitar come in. As a melodical whole, the song recycles the same content continuously. The background as a whole could be looked at essentially as an ostinato that thickens and gets nastier as the lyrical theme unfurls. The guitar enters with a simple descending line from which it will build most of it's other material. The bass is key, yet very much in the background, sometimes playing root notes, sometimes a melodic lick, and sometimes nothing at all.
All falls away as Curtis enters with his deep voice for the song's first verse. "This is a crisis I knew had to come, destroying the balance I kept, Doubting, unsettling and turning around, wondering what will come next." Our protagonist has been waiting for this. At some point a decision was made, a situation entered, or a fact ignored that set this timeline into motion. All of this could have been avoided, but our storyteller decided to move forward anyway. Curtis continues "Is this the role that you wanted to live? I was foolish to ask for so much. Without the protection and infancy's guard, it all falls apart at first touch." It was a chance to live better. Our protagonist was striving to survive at a higher level than afforded him. Infancy's guard was when he could straddle both worlds, return if need be. Maybe this was something he did many times, but one must make the plunge eventually. Whatever protection he had must have been eaten up while protecting him, and now his situation is as precarious as a house of cards. He is just waiting for it to topple.
We are interluded by the familiar descending guitar lick, though it is a little more dissonant than before. Once again it falls by the wayside as Curtis enters. "Watching the reel as it comes to a close, brutally taking it's time." We see it coming. "People who change for no reason at all, it's happening all of the time." Our protagonist feels betrayed, but not by one person, not the person that set this in motion. Our protagonist knows in his heart that the whole situation is his fault. The protagonist feels betrayed by everyone, the entire world. He trusts no one and expects everyone to change on him. "Can I go on with this chain of events disturbing and purging my mind? Back out of my duties when all's said and done? I know that I'll lose every time." There is no good answer. If I act, I lose. If I don't, I lose.
The interlude between verses is a little thicker and holds more tension than before. "Moving along in our God given ways, safety is sat by the fire." The gears are turning and there is no way out but straight on. "Sanctuary from these feverish smiles left with a mark on the door." Things are bad and they will get worse, but for the moment I am protected. "Is this the gift that I wanted to give? Forgive and forget's what they teach, or pass through the deserts once more, and watch as they drop by the beach." Our protagonists world has fallen down around him, but by some good grace he has been spared. He wonders however, if perishing would have been better. The gift he wanted to give was that of a better life, what he was able to give was an idea of what that kind of life was just in time to make life worse than it was before. Our protagonists life is now an endless trip through the desert instead of an endless vacation.
The song ends with a recap of the first verse, ending this time with "Turning around to the next set of lives, wondering what will come next." We are left as stark and empty as our protagonist, left with nothing, with no expectations, and waiting for the next wave to wash over him.
Passover as a religious holiday commemorates the Exodus of the Israelite from Egypt, and the passing over of their households during the plagues. It was the start of a long and hard journey to find one's place in the world. Our protagonist in this song thought they had found it, but they have been turned back into the desert. They don't have a place in this world. Where as in the Jewish history, passover means the protection of God, in our story it means to be looked at and told you're not good enough, to be passed over.
As always feel free to comment or suggest, comment, criticize, or berate in the comments below, the forum at Communistdaycarecenter.net/Forum or by email at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net
"Passover" by Joy Division from Closer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_NggH3O90o
The suggestion came from a friend, and came in the form of him handing me a vinyl copy of Closer and saying "Here, you should do something from this," or something close to that effect. That being said, I am certain I will be corrected if I am incorrect on any of the following biographical information.
Joy Division formed in the late 70's in the burgeoning post-punk scene of Manchester, England. The band would often perform at a local club called The Factory. The manager of said club, Tony Wilson, started Factory Records and signed many of the acts that played at there. Joy Division was the most successful band to come from the label, save one, but more about that later. Joy Division's singer and frontman Ian Curtis was an epileptic. In early to mid 1980 the band was finishing their second full length album and preparing for their first United States tour. The stress was causing Curtis' epilepsy to fall out of control. Curtis was known at this time to have seizures on stage. All of this led to deepen his already apparent depression, and on May 18, 1980, the day the band was to start that first U.S. Tour Ian Curtis hanged himself. The brilliantly dark and extremely influential album Closer was released posthumously the next month.
I need to take a moment to step on this other soapbox that's to the left of the one I am on. There has been a rash of band reunitings lately that has gotten on my nerves. It seems that the economically sound movement these days is to put aside all those differences you had and get the band back together. These groups always perform horribly and are nothing but a disappointment. The reason is that these groups have no option but to become caricatures of themselves. They are working from a back catalog that at one time was culturally relevant, but is no longer. The band inevitably ends up performing music that they played many years prior, pretending that they are that many years younger, imagining that their music was going to have some kind of impact in the same way it did before. Art of all forms is as much about it's cultural context as it is of it's content. What good is expression without reason to express? Why must people try to fix their own art? At this point I must draw us back to Joy Division. After Curtis' suicide, the band formed as a separate entity, New Order. They did not continue on as Joy Division. While one could say that Joy Division has become the more culturally important and influential band, it should be noted that New Order went on to be much more successful than Joy Division ever was. New Order made the decision to move forward, not live in the past.
"Passover" opens with drums soaked in the cave reverb that is quintessential to the genre. After a few bars the bass and guitar come in. As a melodical whole, the song recycles the same content continuously. The background as a whole could be looked at essentially as an ostinato that thickens and gets nastier as the lyrical theme unfurls. The guitar enters with a simple descending line from which it will build most of it's other material. The bass is key, yet very much in the background, sometimes playing root notes, sometimes a melodic lick, and sometimes nothing at all.
All falls away as Curtis enters with his deep voice for the song's first verse. "This is a crisis I knew had to come, destroying the balance I kept, Doubting, unsettling and turning around, wondering what will come next." Our protagonist has been waiting for this. At some point a decision was made, a situation entered, or a fact ignored that set this timeline into motion. All of this could have been avoided, but our storyteller decided to move forward anyway. Curtis continues "Is this the role that you wanted to live? I was foolish to ask for so much. Without the protection and infancy's guard, it all falls apart at first touch." It was a chance to live better. Our protagonist was striving to survive at a higher level than afforded him. Infancy's guard was when he could straddle both worlds, return if need be. Maybe this was something he did many times, but one must make the plunge eventually. Whatever protection he had must have been eaten up while protecting him, and now his situation is as precarious as a house of cards. He is just waiting for it to topple.
We are interluded by the familiar descending guitar lick, though it is a little more dissonant than before. Once again it falls by the wayside as Curtis enters. "Watching the reel as it comes to a close, brutally taking it's time." We see it coming. "People who change for no reason at all, it's happening all of the time." Our protagonist feels betrayed, but not by one person, not the person that set this in motion. Our protagonist knows in his heart that the whole situation is his fault. The protagonist feels betrayed by everyone, the entire world. He trusts no one and expects everyone to change on him. "Can I go on with this chain of events disturbing and purging my mind? Back out of my duties when all's said and done? I know that I'll lose every time." There is no good answer. If I act, I lose. If I don't, I lose.
The interlude between verses is a little thicker and holds more tension than before. "Moving along in our God given ways, safety is sat by the fire." The gears are turning and there is no way out but straight on. "Sanctuary from these feverish smiles left with a mark on the door." Things are bad and they will get worse, but for the moment I am protected. "Is this the gift that I wanted to give? Forgive and forget's what they teach, or pass through the deserts once more, and watch as they drop by the beach." Our protagonists world has fallen down around him, but by some good grace he has been spared. He wonders however, if perishing would have been better. The gift he wanted to give was that of a better life, what he was able to give was an idea of what that kind of life was just in time to make life worse than it was before. Our protagonists life is now an endless trip through the desert instead of an endless vacation.
The song ends with a recap of the first verse, ending this time with "Turning around to the next set of lives, wondering what will come next." We are left as stark and empty as our protagonist, left with nothing, with no expectations, and waiting for the next wave to wash over him.
Passover as a religious holiday commemorates the Exodus of the Israelite from Egypt, and the passing over of their households during the plagues. It was the start of a long and hard journey to find one's place in the world. Our protagonist in this song thought they had found it, but they have been turned back into the desert. They don't have a place in this world. Where as in the Jewish history, passover means the protection of God, in our story it means to be looked at and told you're not good enough, to be passed over.
As always feel free to comment or suggest, comment, criticize, or berate in the comments below, the forum at Communistdaycarecenter.net/Forum or by email at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Looking At The World From The Bottom Of A Well
Here it is, the end of the calender year. Suicide Watch Songs is a short two months of being a year old. As I write this, my area is experiencing it's first significant snowfall of the season, something I could never trade for a million sunny southern days. It's a magical time for me, a happy time. It's one of many facets of life that work backwards for me. I like the cold and snow more than warmth and sun. I also like depressing songs more than uplifting ones. Happy music without tension or accomplishment drains me and depresses me like no other. Sad songs, on the other hand, fill me up like fuel. They keep me going like nothing else can.
Mike Doughty is someone who's music I have wanted to write about for quite a while. He was the founder and destroyer of Soul Coughing, an amazing vision into what hip-hop could have been, a more direct descendant of beat poetry. Not that hip-hop should be anything other than what it is, but, well check it out, you'll see what I mean. After beating his addiction to heroin, Doughty continued to tour as a solo act. I had the chance to see him many years back and he ranks in my head as the most entertaining solo performer I have ever seen. For instance, during the entire show there are a group of hardcore fans (I was new to Doughty's work at this time) yelling for a song called "FIRE TRUCK!" The whole night Doughty keeps putting it off telling us that we weren't ready for it yet. Then I get this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byi2gkoEKwU , or something close to it. You can tell from this short clip how well he understands entertainment, how he is able to create tension in a few mere seconds as you're waiting for the payoff.
At the end of the show Doughty said "In five minutes I'm going to sit down right here at the edge of the stage and sell copies of my album for five dollars. I hope you come up and buy one because all of the proceeds are going directly into my gas tank." The album Skittish had no distributor, and this was pre-iTunes, so the only way to get the album legally was to buy it directly from him. When I bought mine I told him "I'm glad I finally get to buy a copy of this." "What'd you download it?" "A friend burned it for me." He signed the paper case that holds a CD-R very similar to the one I already had and hands it to me, "Eh, get out of here."
So why wait so long to tackle a Doughty song? Well, I cover hopeless, desperate music, and while Doughty's music may be desperate, it is full of hope. I mean boiling over with hope. All his characters are reaching up, and reaching out, and moving forward. They are not stagnant in their own drive. So today we are going to do something different, we are going to take a look at the lead off track from Mike Doughty's third album Haughty Melodic
"Looking At The World From The Bottom Of A Well", by Mike Doughty, from Haughty Melodic
This is Haughty Melodic's lead off track, and the first thing you notice if you're a long time Doughty listener is the change in production. Doughty's work previous to this album was very thin in texture, usually not more than an acoustic guitar and vocals. Here we have multiple guitar tracks, full drum kit, bass, keys, percussion, and sax. It's quite a leap from what we're accustomed.
Our first verse is a longing daydream. "That Cuban girl that brought me low, she had that skin so fine and red lips rose like now. Her mouth was wide and sweet as well, but now relentless hours a'dreaming of her smell." Yeah. There is no better way to phrase that. It is followed by the title of the song in chorus form. "I feel as if I am looking at the world from the bottom of a well." I am separate. I am not part of the world, only moving through it, and I am distanced from that world. I am trapped and subject to stay that way without help, and thus even if I wanted to climb out, I can't.
And yet, a ray of hope. "Lonely, and the only way to beat it is to bat it down," repeated many times. You have to keep going, because, well, simple and poignant, the only way to beat it is to bat it down.
"Oh all the days that I have run I sought to lose that cloud that's blacking out the sun. My train will come some one day soon and when it comes I'll ride it bound from night to noon." I love the imagery of that line. Often people use the allegory of a train. While they are nearly nonexistent to the average American today, the symbolism of the train is something that is pervasive in American culture. So much so that it's usage can mean many things. A train is big, and powerful, and constantly moving. Trains take you away from places you need to leave. You have to wait for a train and thus it is something to build anticipation. Don't forget also that one cannot stand still on a moving train, and do your best to avoid train wrecks. Yet the beauty of that line is not the train, but it's destination. Doughty is riding a train that is departing night to arrive at noon. They are not times, but places. The train Doughty is waiting for picks one up in darkness and drops them off at light.
After another chorus we fall into a bridge, and a slight return to reality. "Aimless days, uncool ways of decathecting." To withdraw one's feelings of attachment from a person, idea, or object. "Painless phase, blacked out thoughts you'll be rejecting." From which we breakdown once again to "Lonely, and the only way to beat it is to bat it down." Keep going.
"Well let's get down, to business now ..."
and then the full on, full texture, everyone blasting last chorus, guitar solo, and dissolve.
And there you have it, a mention of hope. So, on to something more serious.
Did you know that it is false that there are more suicides in the cold weather months and around holidays? Studies show that suicide rates are highest in the springtime. I am certainly no expert, but no matter how detached we feel, we tend to spend more time with our loved ones during this season. We tend to lean on each other to get through it. Even those with very few in our lives lean heavy on our friends and acquaintances. I mentioned that sad music is the stuff that keeps me going, which is absolutely true. In writing about what I do, I do not mean to make light of a such a serious subject. As I mentioned, this kind of music keeps me moving forward in my life and has helped greatly in pulling me out of my darkest depths. I write not only because I enjoy it, but also because I hope there are some that share this viewpoint. Those of you that have had someone close to you commit suicide, a group of which I am a member, know that there are no words to describe how hard and perplexing of a situation one is left in. If you have any doubt about anyone, reach out. Maybe it doesn't matter much, but let those around you know that someone cares, that someone will listen, that they are not alone. I'm not saying, nor do I believe that we can fix each others problems, but I know that harm can come from letting people know you care.
And hey, if you're looking for a charity to give to this holiday season, look up Hopeline/1-800-Suicide, or buy a Post-Secret book! If you are unaware of Post-Secret, you definitely need to check them out. It is an ongoing non-profit community art project wherein people mail in secrets anonymously on a postcard and any money they generate goes to helping out Hopeline.
As always suggest, comment, and berate either on this page, on this page, or email suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net
Mike Doughty is someone who's music I have wanted to write about for quite a while. He was the founder and destroyer of Soul Coughing, an amazing vision into what hip-hop could have been, a more direct descendant of beat poetry. Not that hip-hop should be anything other than what it is, but, well check it out, you'll see what I mean. After beating his addiction to heroin, Doughty continued to tour as a solo act. I had the chance to see him many years back and he ranks in my head as the most entertaining solo performer I have ever seen. For instance, during the entire show there are a group of hardcore fans (I was new to Doughty's work at this time) yelling for a song called "FIRE TRUCK!" The whole night Doughty keeps putting it off telling us that we weren't ready for it yet. Then I get this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byi2gkoEKwU , or something close to it. You can tell from this short clip how well he understands entertainment, how he is able to create tension in a few mere seconds as you're waiting for the payoff.
At the end of the show Doughty said "In five minutes I'm going to sit down right here at the edge of the stage and sell copies of my album for five dollars. I hope you come up and buy one because all of the proceeds are going directly into my gas tank." The album Skittish had no distributor, and this was pre-iTunes, so the only way to get the album legally was to buy it directly from him. When I bought mine I told him "I'm glad I finally get to buy a copy of this." "What'd you download it?" "A friend burned it for me." He signed the paper case that holds a CD-R very similar to the one I already had and hands it to me, "Eh, get out of here."
So why wait so long to tackle a Doughty song? Well, I cover hopeless, desperate music, and while Doughty's music may be desperate, it is full of hope. I mean boiling over with hope. All his characters are reaching up, and reaching out, and moving forward. They are not stagnant in their own drive. So today we are going to do something different, we are going to take a look at the lead off track from Mike Doughty's third album Haughty Melodic
"Looking At The World From The Bottom Of A Well", by Mike Doughty, from Haughty Melodic
This is Haughty Melodic's lead off track, and the first thing you notice if you're a long time Doughty listener is the change in production. Doughty's work previous to this album was very thin in texture, usually not more than an acoustic guitar and vocals. Here we have multiple guitar tracks, full drum kit, bass, keys, percussion, and sax. It's quite a leap from what we're accustomed.
Our first verse is a longing daydream. "That Cuban girl that brought me low, she had that skin so fine and red lips rose like now. Her mouth was wide and sweet as well, but now relentless hours a'dreaming of her smell." Yeah. There is no better way to phrase that. It is followed by the title of the song in chorus form. "I feel as if I am looking at the world from the bottom of a well." I am separate. I am not part of the world, only moving through it, and I am distanced from that world. I am trapped and subject to stay that way without help, and thus even if I wanted to climb out, I can't.
And yet, a ray of hope. "Lonely, and the only way to beat it is to bat it down," repeated many times. You have to keep going, because, well, simple and poignant, the only way to beat it is to bat it down.
"Oh all the days that I have run I sought to lose that cloud that's blacking out the sun. My train will come some one day soon and when it comes I'll ride it bound from night to noon." I love the imagery of that line. Often people use the allegory of a train. While they are nearly nonexistent to the average American today, the symbolism of the train is something that is pervasive in American culture. So much so that it's usage can mean many things. A train is big, and powerful, and constantly moving. Trains take you away from places you need to leave. You have to wait for a train and thus it is something to build anticipation. Don't forget also that one cannot stand still on a moving train, and do your best to avoid train wrecks. Yet the beauty of that line is not the train, but it's destination. Doughty is riding a train that is departing night to arrive at noon. They are not times, but places. The train Doughty is waiting for picks one up in darkness and drops them off at light.
After another chorus we fall into a bridge, and a slight return to reality. "Aimless days, uncool ways of decathecting." To withdraw one's feelings of attachment from a person, idea, or object. "Painless phase, blacked out thoughts you'll be rejecting." From which we breakdown once again to "Lonely, and the only way to beat it is to bat it down." Keep going.
"Well let's get down, to business now ..."
and then the full on, full texture, everyone blasting last chorus, guitar solo, and dissolve.
And there you have it, a mention of hope. So, on to something more serious.
Did you know that it is false that there are more suicides in the cold weather months and around holidays? Studies show that suicide rates are highest in the springtime. I am certainly no expert, but no matter how detached we feel, we tend to spend more time with our loved ones during this season. We tend to lean on each other to get through it. Even those with very few in our lives lean heavy on our friends and acquaintances. I mentioned that sad music is the stuff that keeps me going, which is absolutely true. In writing about what I do, I do not mean to make light of a such a serious subject. As I mentioned, this kind of music keeps me moving forward in my life and has helped greatly in pulling me out of my darkest depths. I write not only because I enjoy it, but also because I hope there are some that share this viewpoint. Those of you that have had someone close to you commit suicide, a group of which I am a member, know that there are no words to describe how hard and perplexing of a situation one is left in. If you have any doubt about anyone, reach out. Maybe it doesn't matter much, but let those around you know that someone cares, that someone will listen, that they are not alone. I'm not saying, nor do I believe that we can fix each others problems, but I know that harm can come from letting people know you care.
And hey, if you're looking for a charity to give to this holiday season, look up Hopeline/1-800-Suicide, or buy a Post-Secret book! If you are unaware of Post-Secret, you definitely need to check them out. It is an ongoing non-profit community art project wherein people mail in secrets anonymously on a postcard and any money they generate goes to helping out Hopeline.
As always suggest, comment, and berate either on this page, on this page, or email suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Charlie Darwin
Oh My God, Life is cold and formless. Oh My God, it's all around.
The Low Anthem was formed in 2006 by Ben Knox Miller and Jeffery Prystowsky met as DJ's at Brown University's WBRU radio station in 2006. After the recording, well kind of during the recording of their first album they added clarinetist Jocie Adams. The band put out their first two albums, What the Crow Brings, and Oh My God, Charlie Darwin on their own. Recently the band signed to Nonesuch records, who have rerelased OMGCD and are going to put out The Low Anthem's next album Smart Flesh in February of 2011. Today we're going to look at the lead off track from The Low Anthem's second album, "Charlie Darwin"
"Charlie Darwin" by The Low Anthem from Oh My God, Charlie Darwin
My good friends will tell you that when I see a movie I really like for the first time, that I make huge extreme statements like "That's the best movie I've ever seen." Keeping that in mind, I truly think that this is the best music video I have ever seen. Besides the fact that I am a sucker for claymation, I can't think of a video that more adequately says exactly what the song is about. Don't believe me? Watch it with the sound off.
"Set the sails, I feel the winds a'stirring. Toward the bright horizon set the way. Cast your wreckless dreams upon our Mayflower, haven from the world and her decay."
I am young and idealistic. The world is at my command, and though there is so much wrong, and so much falling apart, I can leave that. I have the power to set my sails, take my own Mayflower towards that brighter horizon. I choose to rise out of the rubble and set sail for friendlier waters.
The vocals are so beautiful in this song. They sit so soundly in their sonic space. I feel like I'm in a cathedral, but I'm listening to folk music, not church music. The blend between the organ and the background vocals is so smooth that I don't know where one starts and the other ends.
"And who could heed the words of Charlie Darwin, fighting for a system built to fail, spooning water from their broken vessels. As far as I can see there is no land." Only a fool would fight for something foolish. Why would a man stand for such crazy ideas.
"Oh my God, the water's all around us. Oh my God, it's all around." It's a realization. There has been a fundamental change in the protagonists world view. His world has flooded and the world he remembered has been buried by water. His landscape is completely different now, and he has to rationalize the person he is within this new world.
"And who could heed the words of Charlie Darwin. The lords of war just profit from decay, and trade their children's promise for the jingle the way we trade our hard earned time for pay." What a lyric. 'The lords of war just profit from decay' Men are driven to destroy for their own gain. 'And trade their children's promise,' their children's world. The place that we are supposed to leave better for others. That which we have promised our children. "The way we trade our hard earned time for pay.' Hard earned time, not hard earned pay. One works for time, for freedom, not monetary gain, but we all need monetary gain to support time. Life is hard, and as much as one would like to, we often cannot live within our ideals.
"Oh my God, the water's cold and shapeless. Oh my God, it's all around." The world has changed. I am not living in the same place. Am I even the same person? How can I claim to be? "Oh my God, Life is cold and formless. Oh my God, it's all around." What a dichotomy. Life is cold and formless, but we're surrounded by it. Something that had meaning, now has no meaning. Wait, that can't be right. It has meaning, but a different meaning. What is that meaning and is it important? Do I have meaning anymore? Am I important?
Like Sparklehorse's "It's A Wonderful Life," I knew from the second I heard this song that I wanted to do an analysis of it, but I couldn't pinpoint why it fit. One could listen to this song and only grab the idealogical battle between evolutionists and creationists, but the roots of this song go much deeper. It is about a man that has his world turned upside down. He no longer understands the world around him, or his place in it. A persons' self image is justified by the world around them, and thus, as the world around him changes, he himself changes. If a man's world changes so much that he no longer recognizes it, then he no longer recognizes himself either.
Thanks once again for reading. Feel free to leave comments here, at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net, or at the new 'Dictatorship of the Proletariat' Forum at CommunistDayCareCenter.net. We've had some issues due to the jerks of the interwebs, so now you have to register to post, but we'd love to have you as part of the CDCC family.
The Low Anthem was formed in 2006 by Ben Knox Miller and Jeffery Prystowsky met as DJ's at Brown University's WBRU radio station in 2006. After the recording, well kind of during the recording of their first album they added clarinetist Jocie Adams. The band put out their first two albums, What the Crow Brings, and Oh My God, Charlie Darwin on their own. Recently the band signed to Nonesuch records, who have rerelased OMGCD and are going to put out The Low Anthem's next album Smart Flesh in February of 2011. Today we're going to look at the lead off track from The Low Anthem's second album, "Charlie Darwin"
"Charlie Darwin" by The Low Anthem from Oh My God, Charlie Darwin
My good friends will tell you that when I see a movie I really like for the first time, that I make huge extreme statements like "That's the best movie I've ever seen." Keeping that in mind, I truly think that this is the best music video I have ever seen. Besides the fact that I am a sucker for claymation, I can't think of a video that more adequately says exactly what the song is about. Don't believe me? Watch it with the sound off.
"Set the sails, I feel the winds a'stirring. Toward the bright horizon set the way. Cast your wreckless dreams upon our Mayflower, haven from the world and her decay."
I am young and idealistic. The world is at my command, and though there is so much wrong, and so much falling apart, I can leave that. I have the power to set my sails, take my own Mayflower towards that brighter horizon. I choose to rise out of the rubble and set sail for friendlier waters.
The vocals are so beautiful in this song. They sit so soundly in their sonic space. I feel like I'm in a cathedral, but I'm listening to folk music, not church music. The blend between the organ and the background vocals is so smooth that I don't know where one starts and the other ends.
"And who could heed the words of Charlie Darwin, fighting for a system built to fail, spooning water from their broken vessels. As far as I can see there is no land." Only a fool would fight for something foolish. Why would a man stand for such crazy ideas.
"Oh my God, the water's all around us. Oh my God, it's all around." It's a realization. There has been a fundamental change in the protagonists world view. His world has flooded and the world he remembered has been buried by water. His landscape is completely different now, and he has to rationalize the person he is within this new world.
"And who could heed the words of Charlie Darwin. The lords of war just profit from decay, and trade their children's promise for the jingle the way we trade our hard earned time for pay." What a lyric. 'The lords of war just profit from decay' Men are driven to destroy for their own gain. 'And trade their children's promise,' their children's world. The place that we are supposed to leave better for others. That which we have promised our children. "The way we trade our hard earned time for pay.' Hard earned time, not hard earned pay. One works for time, for freedom, not monetary gain, but we all need monetary gain to support time. Life is hard, and as much as one would like to, we often cannot live within our ideals.
"Oh my God, the water's cold and shapeless. Oh my God, it's all around." The world has changed. I am not living in the same place. Am I even the same person? How can I claim to be? "Oh my God, Life is cold and formless. Oh my God, it's all around." What a dichotomy. Life is cold and formless, but we're surrounded by it. Something that had meaning, now has no meaning. Wait, that can't be right. It has meaning, but a different meaning. What is that meaning and is it important? Do I have meaning anymore? Am I important?
Like Sparklehorse's "It's A Wonderful Life," I knew from the second I heard this song that I wanted to do an analysis of it, but I couldn't pinpoint why it fit. One could listen to this song and only grab the idealogical battle between evolutionists and creationists, but the roots of this song go much deeper. It is about a man that has his world turned upside down. He no longer understands the world around him, or his place in it. A persons' self image is justified by the world around them, and thus, as the world around him changes, he himself changes. If a man's world changes so much that he no longer recognizes it, then he no longer recognizes himself either.
Thanks once again for reading. Feel free to leave comments here, at suicidesongs@communistdaycarecenter.net, or at the new 'Dictatorship of the Proletariat' Forum at CommunistDayCareCenter.net. We've had some issues due to the jerks of the interwebs, so now you have to register to post, but we'd love to have you as part of the CDCC family.
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